The Merry Wives of Windsor

 

The full text of Shakespeare's works side-by-side with a translation into modern English.
Elizabethan English			Modern English
Dramatis Personae			characters
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF			Sir John Falstaff
FENTON, a young gentleman			Fenton, a young gentleman
SHALLOW, a country justice			Flach, a national judge
SLENDER, cousin to Shallow			Slim cousin flat
Gentlemen of Windsor			Lords of Windsor
FORD			FORD
PAGE			PAGE
WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page			William Page, a boy, son from side
SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson			Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh pastor
DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician			Doctor Caius, a French doctor
HOST of the Garter Inn			Host of the Garter Inn
Followers of Falstaff			Falstaff supporter
BARDOLPH			Bardolph
PISTOL			PISTOL
NYM			Nym
ROBIN, page to Falstaff			Robin, page for Falstaff
SIMPLE, servant to Slender			Simple, servant of slim servants
RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius			Rugby, Diener von Doctor Caius
MISTRESS FORD			Herrin Ford
MISTRESS PAGE			Mistress side
MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter			Mistress Anne Page, her daughter
MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius			Mistress Schnell, servant of Doctor Caius
SERVANTS to Page, Ford, etc.			Service on page, Ford etc.
SCENE:			SCENE:
Windsor, and the neighbourhood			Windsor and the neighborhood
The Merry Wives of Windsor			The happy women from Windsor
ACT I. SCENE 1.			Nude I. Sene 1.
Windsor. Before PAGE'S house			Windsor. Before Page's house
Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS			Enter the legal flat, Sir Hugh Evans flat, slim, and Sir Hugh Evans
SHALLOW. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star			SHALLOW. Sir Hugh, don't persuade me; I'll make a star
Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs,			Chamber affair; If he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs,
he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.			He must not abuse Robert Flach.
SLENDER. In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and			SLIM. In the county of Gloucester, Peace judge and
Coram.			Before.
SHALLOW. Ay, cousin Slender, and Custalorum.			SHALLOW. Ay, cousin slim and custalorum.
SLENDER. Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,			SLIM. Ay and Ratolorum too; and born a gentleman,
Master Parson, who writes himself 'Armigero' in any bill,			Master Parson, who writes "Armigero" in every bill,
warrant, quittance, or obligation-'Armigero.'			Arrest warrant, appearance or commitment army. '
SHALLOW. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three			SHALLOW. Yes I do; and have done these three at any time
hundred years.			100 years.
SLENDER. All his successors, gone before him, hath done't;			SLIM. All of his successors who went in front of him did not do it;
and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may			And all of his ancestors that come after him, May: You can
give the dozen white luces in their coat.			Give the dozen white luces in your coat.
SHALLOW. It is an old coat.			SHALLOW. It is an old coat.
EVANS. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;			Evans. The dozen white louses become an old coat;
it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and			It is good, passer -by; It is a familiar animal for humans and
signifies love.			means love.
SHALLOW. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old			SHALLOW. The Luce is the fresh fish; The salt fish is an old
coat.			Mantel.
SLENDER. I may quarter, coz.			SLIM. I can quarter, Coz.
SHALLOW. You may, by marrying.			SHALLOW. You can get married.
EVANS. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.			Evans. It is indeed marring when he quartered it.
SHALLOW. Not a whit.			SHALLOW. No white.
EVANS. Yes, py'r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there			Evans. Yes, Py'r Lady! If he has a quarter of her coat, there
is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures;			is only three skirts for themselves, in my simple guesses;
but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed			But that's all one. When Sir John Falstaff has committed
disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be			Waste of you, I am the church and will be
glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and			I am glad to do my benevolence, to make atonement and
compremises between you.			Compremises between them.
SHALLOW. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.			SHALLOW. The council hears it; It is an uprising.
EVANS. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no			Evans. It does not affect that the council hears a turmoil; there is no
fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire			Fear of an uprising; The advice, look them, should wish
to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your			the fear of getting and hearing no turmoil; Take your
vizaments in that.			Cancellation in it.
SHALLOW. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword			SHALLOW. Ha! O 'my life, if I was young again, the sword
should end it.			Should end it.
EVANS. It is petter that friends is the sword and end it;			Evans. It is blood that friends are the sword and end it;
and there is also another device in my prain, which			And there is also another device in my Pain that
peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne			Peradventure Prings Goot Discretitions with it. There is Anne
Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is			Page, the daughter of George Page is, that is
pretty virginity.			Pretty virginity.
SLENDER. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and			SLIM. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair and
speaks small like a woman.			Speaks little like a woman.
EVANS. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you			Evans. It is this finished person for the whole Orld, as they do just like them
will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and			Wish you; and seven hundred pounds, and
gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed-Got			Gold and silver is her grandsire on the bed of his death
deliver to a joyful resurrections!-give, when she is able to			deliver to a joyful resurrection! -Give if she is able to do so
overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we			Overtake seventeen years old. It was a goot movement when we
leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage			Leave our pribbles and Probbles and wish you a marriage
between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.			Between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?			SHALLOW. Did your grandson leave her seven hundred pounds?
EVANS. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.			Evans. Ay, and her father makes her a Penny Penny.
SHALLOW. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good			SHALLOW. I know the young gentle woman; She has good
gifts.			Gifts.
EVANS. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.			Evans. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities are Goot gifts.
SHALLOW. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff			SHALLOW. Let us see an honest master page. Is falstaff
there?			there?
EVANS. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do			Evans. Should I tell you a lie? I despise a liar like me
despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not			Despise one who is wrong; Or how I despise someone who is not
true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be			TRUE. The knight Sir John is there; And I ask you to be
ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master			ruled by their borerotes. I'll be the door for the master peat
Page.			Book page.
[Knocks] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!			[Knocks] what, Hoa! Have your house here!
PAGE. [Within] Who's there?			PAGE. [Within] Who is there?
Enter PAGE			Enter page
EVANS. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice			Evans. Here is Got's Plessing and your friend and justice
Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures			Shallow; And here young masters slim, this peradition
shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your			should tell you a different story when matters of your grow
likings.			Present.
PAGE. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for			PAGE. I am glad to see your worship well. I thank you for
my venison, Master Shallow.			My venison, master flat.
SHALLOW. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do			SHALLOW. Master page, I'm happy to see you; do a lot
it your good heart! I wish'd your venison better; it was ill			It your good heart! I wish your venison better; It was sick
kill'd. How doth good Mistress Page?-and I thank you			Kill. Like not a good loved one?-And thank you
always with my heart, la! with my heart.			Always with my heart, la! With my heart.
PAGE. Sir, I thank you.			PAGE. Sir, thank you.
SHALLOW. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.			SHALLOW. Sir, thank you; From yes and no, I do it.
PAGE. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.			PAGE. I am glad to see you, good master slim.
SLENDER. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say			SLIM. How do you make your fallow dog, sir? I heard say
he was outrun on Cotsall.			He was taken over on Cotal.
PAGE. It could not be judg'd, sir.			PAGE. It could not be assessed, sir.
SLENDER. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.			SLIM. You won't confess, you won't confess.
SHALLOW. That he will not. 'Tis your fault; 'tis your fault;			SHALLOW. That he won't. It is your fault; It is your fault;
tis a good dog.			It's a good dog.
PAGE. A cur, sir.			PAGE. A cur.
SHALLOW. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog. Can there be			SHALLOW. Sir, he is a good dog and a beautiful dog. Can exist
more said? He is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?			Said more? He is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff?
PAGE. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office			PAGE. Sir, he's in it; And I would do a good office
between you.			between them.
EVANS. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.			Evans. There is talk when a Christian should speak.
SHALLOW. He hath wrong'd me, Master Page.			SHALLOW. He did me wrong, Master page.
PAGE. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.			PAGE. Sir, he describes it in any kind.
SHALLOW. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that			SHALLOW. If it is stated, it is not hindered; Isn't that
so, Master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed he hath; at a			So, master page? He did me wrong; In fact, he has; at a
word, he hath, believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith			Word, he has me, believe me; Robert Shallow, Esquire, speaks
he is wronged.			He is wrong.
PAGE. Here comes Sir John.			PAGE. Here comes Sir John.
Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL			Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym and Pistol
FALSTAFF. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to			Falstaff. Well, master flat, they will complain about me
the King?			the king?
SHALLOW. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer,			SHALLOW. Knight, you beat my men, killed my deer,
and broke open my lodge.			And broke my lodge.
FALSTAFF. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter.			Falstaff. But don't kiss your goalkeeper's daughter.
SHALLOW. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd.			SHALLOW. Does a pin! This should be answered.
FALSTAFF. I will answer it straight: I have done all this.			Falstaff. I will just answer it: I did it all.
That is now answer'd.			That is now answered.
SHALLOW. The Council shall know this.			SHALLOW. The Council will know.
FALSTAFF. 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:			Falstaff. 'Twere better for you when it was known in Counsel:
you'll be laugh'd at.			You will laugh.
EVANS. Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.			Evans. A few words, Sir John; GOOT -WURZE.
FALSTAFF. Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your			Falstaff. Good spice! Good cabbage! Slim, I broke yours
head; what matter have you against me?			Head; What are the matter against me?
SLENDER. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;			SLIM. Marriage, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym,			And against her CORY Catching Spling, Bardolph, Nym,
and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me			and pistol. They carried me into the tavern and made me
drunk, and afterwards pick'd my pocket.			Drunk and then I chose my bag.
BARDOLPH. You Banbury cheese!			Bardolph. You banbury cheese!
SLENDER. Ay, it is no matter.			SLIM. Yes, it doesn't matter.
PISTOL. How now, Mephostophilus!			PISTOL. Like now, Mephostophilus!
SLENDER. Ay, it is no matter.			SLIM. Yes, it doesn't matter.
NYM. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That's my humour.			Nym. Slice, I say! Pauca, Pauca; Disc! This is my humor.
SLENDER. Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?			SLIM. Where is my husband? Can you say cousin?
EVANS. Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is			Evans. Peace, I pray you. Let us understand now. There is
three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is,			Three referees in this matter, as I understand: that is, that means "
Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself,			Master page, Fidelicet Master page; And there I'm myself
fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and			Fidelicet itself; And the three party is last and
finally, mine host of the Garter.			Finally, my host of the tights.
PAGE. We three to hear it and end it between them.			PAGE. We three to hear it and end it between them.
EVANS. Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my note-book;			Evans. Foy Goot. I will make a prompt out of it in my notebook.
and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great			And afterwards we get ork about the matter with so big
discreetly as we can.			Discreet as possible.
FALSTAFF. Pistol!			Falstaff. Pistole!
PISTOL. He hears with ears.			PISTOL. He hears with ears.
EVANS. The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this, 'He hears			Evans. The Tevil and his tam! Which sentence is that?
with ear'? Why, it is affectations.			with ear '? They are an impact.
FALSTAFF. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?			Falstaff. Pistol, have you selected Master Slender's wallet?
SLENDER. Ay, by these gloves, did he-or I would I might			SLIM. Ay, through these gloves, did I could I could
never come in mine own great chamber again else!-of			Never come back to my own great chamber again! -Of
seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward			Seven Groats in Mill-Sixpences and two Edward
shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence apiece			Shovel boards that cost me two shillings and two pence per piece
of Yead Miller, by these gloves.			by Yead Miller through these gloves.
FALSTAFF. Is this true, Pistol?			Falstaff. Is that true, pistol?
EVANS. No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.			Evans. No, it is wrong if it is a pick-purse.
PISTOL. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and master			PISTOL. Ha, you mountain researcher! Sir John and Master
mine,			Mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.			I fight the challenge of this slat bilbo.
Word of denial in thy labras here!			Word of rejection in your Labras here!
Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.			Word of rejection! Foam and scum, you read.
SLENDER. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.			SLIM. Through these gloves', he was.
NYM. Be avis'd, sir, and pass good humours; I will say			Nym. Be avis'd, sir, and pass good humors; I would say
marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on			Marriage trap 'with you if you led the humor of the Nuthook
me; that is the very note of it.			me; That is the grade.
SLENDER. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for			SLIM. Through this hat he had it in the red face; to the
though I cannot remember what I did when you made me			Although I can't remember what I did when you did me
drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.			Drunk, but I'm not quite an ass.
FALSTAFF. What say you, Scarlet and John?			Falstaff. What do you say, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had			Bardolph. Why, sir in his part, I say that the Lord had
drunk himself out of his five sentences.			Drunk from his five sets.
EVANS. It is his five senses; fie, what the ignorance is!			Evans. They are his five senses; Fie what is ignorance!
BARDOLPH. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd;			Bardolph. And being fap, sir, as you say, cashier;
and so conclusions pass'd the careers.			And so conclusions have passed the career.
SLENDER. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter;			SLIM. Yes, you also speak in Latin; but it does not matter;
I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest,			I won't be drunk while I live again, but honestly,
civil, godly company, for this trick. If I be drunk, I'll be			Civil, divine society for this trick. When I'm drunk, I will be
drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with			Drunk with those who are afraid of God and not with
drunken knaves.			Drunk fanks.
EVANS. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.			Evans. So I got myself, this is a virtuous spirit.
FALSTAFF. You hear all these matters deni'd, gentlemen; you			Falstaff. You hear all these affairs, gentlemen; she
hear it.			Hear it.
Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS			Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; MISTRESS
FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following			Ford and Mistress Page, follows
PAGE. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.			PAGE. No, daughter, carry the wine in; We drink inside.
Exit ANNE PAGE			End Anne Page
SLENDER. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.			SLIM. O heaven! This is Mistress Anne Page.
PAGE. How now, Mistress Ford!			PAGE. Like now, Mistress Ford!
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well			Falstaff. Mistress Ford, from my troth, you are doing very well
met; by your leave, good mistress. [Kisses her]			met; Through your vacation, good loved ones. [Kiss her]
PAGE. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a			PAGE. Woman, offer these gentlemen. Come on, we have one
hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we			Hot venison pate for dinner; Come on, gentlemen, I hope we
shall drink down all unkindness.			Should drink any unfriendliness.
Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS			Exeunt all out of flat, slim and Evans
SLENDER. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of			SLIM. I preferred forty shillings that I had my book from
Songs and Sonnets here.			Songs and sonnets here.
Enter SIMPLE			Simply enter
How, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on			How simple! Where have you been? I have to wait for it
myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you,			I myself, do I have? You don't have the book of puzzles about you,
have you?			do you have?
SIMPLE. Book of Riddles! Why, did you not lend it to Alice			EASY. Book of puzzles! Why didn't you forgive Alice?
Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore			Link with Allhallowmas Last, a fourteen days forward
Michaelmas?			Michael?
SHALLOW. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word			SHALLOW. Come on, Coz; Come on, Coz; We stay for you. A word
with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a			With you, Coz; get married, this, coz: there are how 'twere, a
tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do			Tender, a kind of tender made here by Sir Hugh. Do
you understand me?			you understand me?
SLENDER. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I			SLIM. Yes, sir, you will find me sensible; If so, me
shall do that that is reason.			Should do what is reason.
SHALLOW. Nay, but understand me.			SHALLOW. No, but understand me.
SLENDER. So I do, sir.			SLIM. So I do, sir.
EVANS. Give ear to his motions: Master Slender, I will			Evans. Give his movements ear: Master slim, I will
description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.			Description of the matter for you if you are capacity of it.
SLENDER. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says; I pray			SLIM. No, I will do as my cousin says flat; I pray
you pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country,			You forgive me; He is a judge in his country
simple though I stand here.			Simply even though I'm here.
EVANS. But that is not the question. The question is			Evans. But that's not the question. The question is
concerning your marriage.			Regarding your marriage.
SHALLOW. Ay, there's the point, sir.			SHALLOW. Yes, there is the point, sir.
EVANS. Marry is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne			Evans. It is married; the point of it; to Mistress Anne
Page.			Book page.
SLENDER. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any			SLIM. Why, if so, I will marry you on everyone
reasonable demands.			Adequate requirements.
EVANS. But can you affection the oman? Let us command to			Evans. But can you affection? Let us command
know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers			Do you know that from your mouth or lips; For divers
philosophers			Philosophers
hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore,			Start that the lips are the package of the mouth. Because of this,
precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?			Can you wear your good will to the maid?
SHALLOW. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?			SHALLOW. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
SLENDER. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that			SLIM. I hope Sir, I will do what it will become one
would do reason.			would do reason.
EVANS. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak			Evans. No, have Lords and his ladies! You have to speak
possitable,			obsessed,
if you can carry her your desires towards her.			If you can wear her, your wishes for her.
SHALLOW. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry,			SHALLOW. You have to do that. If you go for a good dowry,
marry her?			Do you marry?
SLENDER. I will do a greater thing than that upon your request,			SLIM. I will do a bigger thing on your request than that
cousin, in any reason.			Cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what			SHALLOW. No, recommend me, recommend me, sweet, coz; What
I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?			I delighted you, Coz. Can you love the maid?
SLENDER. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there			SLIM. I will marry her on request, sir; But if there
be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease			Be a great love at the beginning, but the sky can lose weight
it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and			it after a better acquaintance when we are married and
have more occasion to know one another. I hope upon			have more reason to know each other. I hope for
familiarity will grow more contempt. But if you say			Familiarity will grow more contempt. But when you say
marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved,			get married, 'I'll marry her; that I am freely dissolved
and dissolutely.			and disolutut.
EVANS. It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is in the			Evans. It is a discretionary answer, save the fall in the
ord 'dissolutely': the ort is, according to our meaning,			Ord 'dissiatut': The place is according to our meaning,
resolutely'; his meaning is good.			determined '; Its meaning is good.
SHALLOW. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.			SHALLOW. Yes, I think my cousin meant it well.
SLENDER. Ay, or else I would I might be hang'd, la!			SLIM. Yes, otherwise I would be hanging, la!
Re-enter ANNE PAGE			Re-entering Anne side
SHALLOW. Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Would I were			SHALLOW. Here comes the fair lover Anne. I would be
young for your sake, Mistress Anne!			Young for your sake, mistress Anne!
ANNE. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your			Anne. The dinner is on the table; My father wishes you
worships' company.			Addiction company.
SHALLOW. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne!			SHALLOW. I'll wait for him, fair lover Anne!
EVANS. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.			Evans. ODS planned will! I will not be absent from grace.
Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS			Leave flat and Evans
ANNE. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?			Anne. Will your worship come in to come in, sir?
SLENDER. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very			SLIM. No, thank you, from the heart on the way; I am very
well.			Gut.
ANNE. The dinner attends you, sir.			Anne. Dinner takes part in them, sir.
SLENDER. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,			SLIM. I'm not A-Hungry, thank you, Zumooth. Walk,
sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin			Sirrah, for everything you are my husband, wait for my cousin
Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE] A justice of peace sometime may			Shallow. [Just end] a judge of peace someday May Mai
be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men			Take a look at his friend for a man. I only keep three men
and a boy yet, till my mother be dead. But what though?			And another boy until my mother is dead. But what?
Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.			Nevertheless, I live like a poor gentleman.
ANNE. I may not go in without your worship; they will not			Anne. I can't go in without your worship; You will not
sit till you come.			Sit up until you come.
SLENDER. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as			SLIM. I think I will not eat anything; I thank you as well as
though I did.			Although I did it.
ANNE. I pray you, sir, walk in.			Anne. I pray her, sir, go in.
SLENDER. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruis'd my			SLIM. I preferred to thank you. I Bruis my
shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with			Rail after the other day with playing with sword and dagger with
a master of fence-three veneys for a dish of stew'd prunes			A master of fence three veins for a plate of steamed plums
-and, I with my ward defending my head, he hot my shin,			-und, me with my station that defends my head, he is hot my shin,
and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat			And after my troth I can't keep the smell of hot meat
since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i' th'			since. Why do your dogs bark that? Be there bears 'th'
town?			City, village?
ANNE. I think there are, sir; I heard them talk'd of.			Anne. I think there is sir; I heard her talk about.
SLENDER. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at			SLIM. I love sport well; But I'll argue so quickly
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the			It like every man in England. You are afraid when you see that
bear loose, are you not?			Bear loose, isn't it?
ANNE. Ay, indeed, sir.			Anne. Yes, in fact, sir.
SLENDER. That's meat and drink to me now. I have seen			SLIM. This is now meat and drink for me. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the			Sackerson loses twenty times and took him from the
chain; but I warrant you, the women have so cried and			Chain; But I guarantee them, the women cried and
shriek'd at it that it pass'd; but women, indeed, cannot			While it was over; But women cannot indeed be able to
abide 'em; they are very ill-favour'd rough things.			Please stay; They are very badly fantastic rough things.
Re-enter PAGE			Enter page again
PAGE. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.			PAGE. Come on, gentle master slim, come; We stay for you.
SLENDER. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.			SLIM. I will not eat anything, thank you, sir.
PAGE. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come,			PAGE. From tail and cake, you won't choose, sir! Come,
come.			Come.
SLENDER. Nay, pray you lead the way.			SLIM. No, pray, you carry the way.
PAGE. Come on, sir.			PAGE. Come on, sir.
SLENDER. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.			SLIM. Mistress Anne, you should go first.
ANNE. Not I, sir; pray you keep on.			Anne. Not me, sir; Pray, you keep going.
SLENDER. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do			SLIM. Really, I won't go first; Really, la! I won't do that
you that wrong.			you wrong.
ANNE. I pray you, sir.			Anne. I pray her, sir.
SLENDER. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You			SLIM. I will be more unimuminated than problematic. You
do yourself wrong indeed, la! Exeunt			Do you actually go wrong, la! Exeunt
SCENE 2.			Scene 2.
Before PAGE'S house			Before Page's house
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE			Enter Sir Hugh Evans and just
EVANS. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which			Evans. Go your ways and ask about Doctor Caius' house, that
is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which			is the way; And there a lover quickly lives who
is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook,			Is in the manner of his nurse, his dry nurse or cook,
or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.			Or his laundry, his washing machine and his wringer.
SIMPLE. Well, sir.			EASY. Well, sir.
EVANS. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a			Evans. No, it's still blood. Give her this letter; Because it is a
oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne			Oman that the friend is Anne with mistress
Page; and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit			Book page; And the letter is to be desired and demands from her to ask her
your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you			The wishes of her master after mistress Anne Page. I pray you
be gone. I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins			be away. I will make an end to my dinner; There are pippins
and cheese to come. Exeunt			And to get cheese. Exit
SCENE 3.			Scene 3.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN			Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol and Robin
FALSTAFF. Mine host of the Garter!			Falstaff. My host of the tights!
HOST. What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and			HOST. What does my tyrant say? Speak scientifically and
wisely.			wise.
FALSTAFF. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my			Falstaff. Truly, my host, I have to turn some of my away
followers.			Follower.
HOST. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot,			HOST. Discard, bullying Hercules; Cashier; Let them wag; Trot,
trot.			Powder.
FALSTAFF. I sit at ten pounds a week.			Falstaff. I'm sitting at ten pounds a week.
HOST. Thou'rt an emperor-Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I			HOST. You are a Kaiser-Caesar, Keizer and Phazar. I
will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I			is entertained by Bardolph; He will draw, he will knock; I said
well, bully Hector?			Nun, Moby Hector?
FALSTAFF. Do so, good mine host.			Falstaff. Do this, good mining hosts.
HOST. I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me			HOST. I have spoken; Let him follow. [To Bardolph] Leave me
see thee froth and lime. I am at a word; follow. Exit HOST			See you foam and lime. I am in one word; Consequences. Host leave
FALSTAFF. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade;			Falstaff. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade;
an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd serving-man a			An old cloak makes a new Jerkin; a withered servant a
fresh tapster. Go; adieu.			Fresh tapster. Walk; Adieu.
BARDOLPH. It is a life that I have desir'd; I will thrive.			Bardolph. It is a life that I wish; I will thrive.
PISTOL. O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot			PISTOL. O Base of Hungarian Wight! Do you want the cone
wield? Exit BARDOLPH			Exercise? Leave Bardolph
NYM. He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?			Nym. He was received in the drink. Isn't the humor imagined?
FALSTAFF. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his			Falstaff. I am glad that I am so free of this tinder box: his
thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful			Thefts were too open; His filching was like a clumsy one
singer-he kept not time.			Singers had no time.
NYM. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.			Nym. The good humor is to steal during a minute break.
PISTOL. 'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal' foh! A fico for the			PISTOL. "Send" the wise call. 'Steal' foh! A fico for the
phrase!			Phrase!
FALSTAFF. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.			Falstaff. Well, Sirs, I'm almost outside in the heels.
PISTOL. Why, then, let kibes ensue.			PISTOL. Then why Kibes follow.
FALSTAFF. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must			Falstaff. There is no means; I have to Cony-Catch; I must
shift.			Change.
PISTOL. Young ravens must have food.			PISTOL. Young ravens have to eat.
FALSTAFF. Which of you know Ford of this town?			Falstaff. Which of you know Ford of this city?
PISTOL. I ken the wight; he is of substance good.			PISTOL. I know the Wight; It is good from substance.
FALSTAFF. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.			Falstaff. My honest boys, I'll tell you what I am about.
PISTOL. Two yards, and more.			PISTOL. Two meters and more.
FALSTAFF. No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist			Falstaff. No jokes, pistols. In fact, I'm in the waist
two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about			two meters; But I'm about waste now; I'm over
thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I			Thrift. In short, I want to love Ford's wife; I
spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she			Dance entertainment in her; She discusses, she carks, she
gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of			gives empty the invitation; I can issue the action from
her			she
familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be			familiar style; and the most difficult voice of their behavior to be
English'd rightly, is 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'			English is rightly: "I'm Sir John Falstaffs".
PISTOL. He hath studied her well, and translated her will out			PISTOL. He studied her well and translates her will out
of honesty into English.			of honesty into English.
NYM. The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?			Nym. The anchor is deep; Will this humor happen?
FALSTAFF. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her			Falstaff. Now the report says that she has all the rule of her
husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels.			Husband's wallet; He has a legion of angels.
PISTOL. As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.			PISTOL. How many devils entertain; And 'to her, boy', I say.
NYM. The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.			Nym. The humor increases; it is good; Humor me the angels.
FALSTAFF. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here			Falstaff. I wrote a letter to you here; and here
another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes			Another to Page's wife who still gave me good eyes
too, examin'd my parts with most judicious oeillades;			I also examined my parts with most reasonable oeillades;
sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my			Sometimes the beam gilded my foot, sometimes mine
portly belly.			Violent belly.
PISTOL. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.			PISTOL. Then the sun shone on Dunghill.
NYM. I thank thee for that humour.			Nym. I thank you for this humor.
FALSTAFF. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such			Falstaff. Oh, of course she did about my outer one with such
a greedy intention that the appetite of her eye did seem to			A greedy intention that the appetite of her eye seems to
scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to			Scorch like a fire glass! Here is another letter to
her. She bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all			She. She also wears the wallet; She is a region in Guayana, all
gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they			Gold and bounty. I will be with both fraudsters and you
shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West			should be an exchanger for me; You will be my east and west
Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this			India and I will both act. Go, you step that
letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We			Letter to Mistress page; And you to Mistress Ford. We
will thrive, lads, we will thrive.			Wants to thrive, guys, we will thrive.
PISTOL. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,			PISTOL. Should I become Sir Pandarus of Troy,
And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!			And wear steel at my side? Then Lucifer take everything!
NYM. I will run no base humour. Here, take the			Nym. I will not operate a base humor. Here they take them
humour-letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation.			Humor bet; I will keep the behavior of the call.
FALSTAFF. [To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah; bear you these letters			Falstaff. [Robin] Hold, Sirrah; Wear these letters
tightly;			closed;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.			Sail like my tension with these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;			Valley, so Avaunt! disappear like hailstones, go;
Trudge, plod away i' th' hoof; seek shelter, pack!			Trudge, says goodbye; Find protection, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of the age;			Falstaff will learn the humor of the age;
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.			French economy, they villain; I myself and the handled side.
Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN			Leave Falstaff and Robin
PISTOL. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam			PISTOL. Let vultures make their courage! For pumpkin and fullam
holds,			holds
And high and low beguiles the rich and poor;			And high and low astonishes the rich and poor;
Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,			Tester I have in my bag when you are missing
Base Phrygian Turk!			Basis Phrygian Turk!
NYM. I have operations in my head which be humours of			Nym. I have operations in my head that are humor
revenge.			Hacked.
PISTOL. Wilt thou revenge?			PISTOL. Do you want to avenge?
NYM. By welkin and her star!			Nym. From Welcome and your star!
PISTOL. With wit or steel?			PISTOL. With wit or steel?
NYM. With both the humours, I.			Nym. With both humors, I.
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.			I will discuss the humor of this love for the side.
PISTOL. And I to Ford shall eke unfold			PISTOL. And I should develop eke to Ford
How Falstaff, varlet vile,			Wie Falstaff, Varlet Vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,			His pigeon will prove that his gold will hold
And his soft couch defile.			And his soft couch defile.
NYM. My humour shall not cool; I will incense Page to deal			Nym. My humor will not cool down; I will act in order to act to act
with poison; I will possess him with yellowness; for the			with poison; I will own him with yellowity; for the
revolt of mine is dangerous. That is my true humour.			Idler is dangerous. This is my true humor.
PISTOL. Thou art the Mars of malcontents; I second thee;			PISTOL. You are the Mars the painting converits; I second you;
troop on. Exeunt			Troop on. Exit
SCENE 4.			Scene 4.
DOCTOR CAIUS'S house			HAUS DES DOKTORS CAIUS
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY			Enter the mistress quickly, simply and rugby
QUICKLY. What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the casement			QUICKLY. What, John Rugby! I pray that you go to destruction
and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor			and check whether you can see my master, master Doctor
Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the			Caius, comes. If he does, I think and find someone in the
house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and			House, here will be an old abuse of the patience of God and
the King's English.			The king's English.
RUGBY. I'll go watch.			RUGBY. I'll watch.
QUICKLY. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in			QUICKLY. Walk; And we will not have a poses for at night, in
faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit RUGBY]			Believe at the latter end of a sea cabbage fire. [Rugby output]
An			A
honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in			Honestly, willing, friendly guy, as always servant, will come in
house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no			House with; And I guarantee them, neither treacherous nor no
breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given to prayer; he			Racial concrete; His worst mistake is that he is given prayer; he
is			is
something peevish that way; but nobody but has his fault;			Something that is so annoyed; But nobody has their guilt;
but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?			But let that happen. Peter just, you say, your name is?
SIMPLE. Ay, for fault of a better.			EASY. Ay, for the guilt of a better one.
QUICKLY. And Master Slender's your master?			QUICKLY. And Master Slender is your master?
SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth.			Easy. Ay, ForSooth.
QUICKLY. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a			QUICKLY. He does not wear a great round beard like A
glover's paring-knife?			Glovers shoe knife?
SIMPLE. No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a			EASY. No, Zumooth; He only has a small whey face with one
little yellow beard, a Cain-colour'd beard.			Small yellow beard, a kain -colored beard.
QUICKLY. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?			QUICKLY. A gentle splash man, isn't it?
SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as			EASY. Ay, wrong; But he is as big a man in his hands like
any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a			Everyone is between this and his head; He fought with one
warrener.			Warrener.
QUICKLY. How say you? O, I should remember him. Does			QUICKLY. How do you say? Oh, I should remember him. Does
he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?			Doesn't he keep his head high, so to speak and struts in his gang?
SIMPLE. Yes, indeed, does he.			EASY. Yes, he does indeed.
QUICKLY. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune!			QUICKLY. Well, Heaven does not send Anne Page worse luck!
Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your			Say Master Parson Evans, I will do what I can do for yours
master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish-			Master. Anne is a good girl and I wish.
Re-enter RUGBY			Enter rugby again
RUGBY. Out, alas! here comes my master.			RUGBY. From, unfortunately! Here comes my master.
QUICKLY. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young			QUICKLY. We'll all be shent. Run in here, good boy
man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet] He			Man; Go into this closet. [Just close in the closet] he
will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John! what, John,			won't stay long. What, John Rugby! John! What, John,
I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be			I say! Go, John, inquire about my master; I doubt that he is
not well that he comes not home. [Singing]			Not good that he doesn't come home. [To sing]
And down, down, adown-a, etc.			And down, down, adown-a etc.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS			Enter Doctor Caius
CAIUS. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go			Caius. VAT do you sing? I don't like the toy. You pray, go
and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert-a box, a green-a			And wave to me in my closet UN-Boitier Vert-A Box, a green-a
box. Do intend vat I speak? A green-a box.			Crate. Do I intend to speak VAT? A green box.
QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad			QUICKLY. Yes, Zumooth, I'll get it to you. [Aside] I'm happy
he went not in himself; if he had found the young man,			He didn't go within; If he had found the young man,
he would have been horn-mad.			He would have been hornmad.
CAIUS. Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais			Caius. Fe, Fe Fe Fe! My belief is very hot. I leave
a			a
la cour-la grande affaire.			The big business.
QUICKLY. Is it this, sir?			QUICKLY. Is that, sir?
CAIUS. Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere			Caius. Yes; Place it in my pocket: Depeche, quickly. Vere
is dat knave, Rugby?			Is that villain, rugby?
QUICKLY. What, John Rugby? John!			QUICKLY. What, John Rugby? John!
RUGBY. Here, sir.			RUGBY. Here, sir.
CAIUS. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby.			Caius. You are John Rugby and Jack Rugby.
Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the			Come on, take your rapier and come to my heel
court.			Targeted.
RUGBY. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.			RUGBY. It is ready to sir, here in the veranda.
CAIUS. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! Qu'ai j'oublie?			Caius. I stay with my trot too long. I am! What do I forget?
Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the			Which is not some simple in my closet dat i village for that
varld I shall leave behind.			Varld I will leave behind.
QUICKLY. Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be			QUICKLY. Yes, he will find and be the young man there
mad!			furious!
CAIUS. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villainy! larron!			Caius. O Diable, diaables! VAT is in my closet? Rogue! Larron!
[Pulling SIMPLE out] Rugby, my rapier!			[Simply take off] Rugby, my rapier!
QUICKLY. Good master, be content.			QUICKLY. Good master, be satisfied.
CAIUS. Wherefore shall I be content-a?			Caius. Why should I be satisfied-one?
QUICKLY. The young man is an honest man.			QUICKLY. The young man is an honest man.
CAIUS. What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is			Caius. What should the honest man do in my closet? Dere is
no honest man dat shall come in my closet.			No honest man will come in my closet.
QUICKLY. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic; hear the			QUICKLY. I ask you, don't be so phlegmatic; Hear that
truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.			Truth of it. He came from Parson Hugh from an order.
CAIUS. Vell?			Caius. Other?
SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-			EASY. Ay, Zumooth to wish them.
QUICKLY. Peace, I pray you.			QUICKLY. Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS. Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.			Caius. Frieden-a tongue. Speak a story.
SIMPLE. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to			EASY. This honest, gentle woman, her maid, to be desired
speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master,			Talk to the mistress Anne Page for my master.
in the way of marriage.			in the way of marriage.
QUICKLY. This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger			QUICKLY. This is indeed, la! But I won't put my finger
in the fire, and need not.			in the fire and don't need.
CAIUS. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baillez me some paper.			Caius. Sir Hugh Send-A you? Rugby, baillez me some paper.
Tarry you a little-a-while. [Writes]			Tween a little twe. [Writes]
QUICKLY. [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet; if he			QUICKLY. [Apart from simple] I am glad that he is so quiet; If he
had been throughly moved, you should have heard him			had been moved consistently, you should have heard him
so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll			So loud and so melancholic. But despite the man, I will
do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and			Do you do your master what I can? And that very yes and
the no is, the French doctor, my master-I may call him			The no is, the French doctor, my master-ego can call him
my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash,			My master, look because I hold his house; And I wash
wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the			Wring, brewing, baking, fueling, putting on and drinking meat, do it, do it
beds, and do all myself-			Bed and do all self-
SIMPLE. [Aside to QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to come			EASY. [Aside too quickly] there is a great indictment to come
under one body's hand.			Under the hand of a body.
QUICKLY. [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avis'd o' that? You			QUICKLY. [Apart from simple] are you that? You
shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down			Should it find a great charges; and to be up and down early
late; but notwithstanding-to tell you in your ear, I would			late; But despite the one they tell them in their ears, I would do it
have no words of it-my master himself is in love with			I have no words from him-my master myself is in love
Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know			Mistress Anne Page; But despite that I know that
Anne's mind-that's neither here nor there.			Annes thoughts are neither here nor there.
CAIUS. You jack'nape; give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar,			Caius. You jack'nape; Give this letter to Sir Hugh; from cook
it is a shallenge; I will cut his troat in de park; and I			It is a range; I will cut his druat into the park; and me
will			Will
teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You			Teach a scurvy to get involved or make. You
may be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I will			can be gone; It is not a good thing that you honor here. I will get
cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone			Cut all of his two stones; He won't have a stone from even
to throw at his dog. Exit SIMPLE			Attach his dog. Simply end
QUICKLY. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.			QUICKLY. Unfortunately, he speaks for his friend.
CAIUS. It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I			Caius. It is no matter of date. I do not say-I do
shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack			Should an Anne page have for myself? From cooked, I village kill de jack
priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to			Priest; And I have appointed my moderator from de Jarteer
measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne			Measure our weapon. I will have anne myself
Page.			Book page.
QUICKLY. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We			QUICKLY. Sir, she loves the maid and everything will be good. we
must give folks leave to prate. What the good-year!			Must give people the reason. What the good year!
CAIUS. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have			Caius. Rugby, come to the square with me. From even when I have
not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.			No Anne page, I'll turn your head out of my door.
Follow my heels, Rugby. Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY			Follow my heels, rugby. Leave Caius and Rugby
QUICKLY. You shall have-An fool's-head of your own. No,			QUICKLY. You should have your own fool's head. No,
I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windsor			I know Anne's thoughts for this; Never a woman in Windsor
knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more			knows more about Anne's mind than me; Can't do anymore
than I do with her, I thank heaven.			When I do with her, I thank the sky.
FENTON. [Within] Who's within there? ho!			Fenton. [In] Who is in there? HO!
QUICKLY. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray			QUICKLY. Who is there, I treads? Come near the house, I pray
you.			She.
Enter FENTON			Enter Fenton
FENTON. How now, good woman, how dost thou?			Fenton. How now, good woman, how do you do?
QUICKLY. The better that it pleases your good worship to			QUICKLY. The better that it likes your good worship
ask.			Questions.
FENTON. What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?			Fenton. What news? How does the pretty lover Anne go?
QUICKLY. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and			QUICKLY. In truth, sir, and she is pretty and honest and
gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by			soft; And one who is your friend, I can say that of you
the way; I praise heaven for it.			the way; I praise the sky for it.
FENTON. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose			Fenton. Should I do something good, do you think? Shouldn't I lose?
my suit?			My suit?
QUICKLY. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but			QUICKLY. Troth, Sir, everything is in his hands; but
notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book			Despite master Fenton, I am sworn in a book
she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?			She loves you. Don't you have a wart over your eye?
FENTON. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?			Fenton. Yes, marry, I have; What about it?
QUICKLY. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such			QUICKLY. Well, this hangs a story; It is so faithful and faith
another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke			another nan; But I adore an honest maid, as always broken
bread. We had an hour's talk of that wart; I shall never			loaf. We had this wart for an hour. I will never
laugh but in that maid's company! But, indeed, she is			But laugh in the society of this maid! But in fact it is
given too much to allicholy and musing; but for you-well,			Too much too Allicholy and think; But for you, in the world,
go to.			go to.
FENTON. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money			Fenton. Well, I'll see her today. Keep, there is money
for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest			to you; Let me have your voice in my name. When you see
her before me, commend me.			She in front of me, recommends me.
QUICKLY. Will I? I' faith, that we will; and I will tell your			QUICKLY. I will? I think we will; And I'll tell you
worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence;			Pray more of the wart if we have trust the next time;
and of other wooers.			And from other Wooers.
FENTON. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.			Fenton. Well, farewell; I'm in great hurry now.
QUICKLY. Farewell to your worship. [Exit FENTON] Truly,			QUICKLY. Farewell to their worship. [Fenton output] Really,
an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know			an honest gentleman; But Anne doesn't love him; Because I know
Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon 't, what			Anne's mind and another does it. On 't, what
have I forgot? Exit			I have forgotten? Exit
ACT II. SCENE 1.			Act II. Szene 1.
Before PAGE'S house			Before Page's house
Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter			Enter the Mistress page with a letter
MRS. PAGE. What! have I scap'd love-letters in the holiday-time			MRS. PAGE. What! I equipped love teachers during the holiday season
of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let			From my beauty, and am I now an issue for you? To let
me see. [Reads]			I see. [Read]
Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use			Don't ask me a reason why I love you; Because although love is used
Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his			Reason for his president, he does not give him for his
counsellor.			Advisor.
You are not young, no more am I; go to, then, there's			You are not young, I am no longer; Then go there, there is
sympathy. You are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there's			Sympathy. You are happy, I am too; Ha! Ha! and then there's
more sympathy. You love sack, and so do I; would you			More sympathy. You love sack and me too; would you
desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page			Do you want better sympathy? Let it be enough, Mistress Page
at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice-that I love			At least if the love of soldiers can be enough, I love
thee. I will not say, Pity me: 'tis not a soldier-like			you. I will not say, a shame that it is not a soldier-like
phrase;			Phrase;
but I say, Love me. By me,			But I say, love myself. From me,
Thine own true knight,			Your own real knight,
By day or night,			On day or night,
Or any kind of light,			Or some kind of light,
With all his might,			With all its power,
For thee to fight,			So that you fight
JOHN FALSTAFF.'			John Falstaff. '
What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world!			What kind of herod of Judaism is that! O bad, evil world!
One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show			One that can almost be shown in pieces with age to show
himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour			Even a young gallant! What an incredible behavior
hath this Flemish drunkard pick'd-with the devil's name!			This Flemish drunks chose the name of the devil!
-out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner			-Out of my conversation that he dares in this way
assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!			examine me? Why, he hadn't been three times in my company!
What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth.			What should I tell him? At that time I was economical of my joy.
Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament			The sky forgive me! Why, I will issue an invoice in parliament
for the putting down of men. How shall I be			for taking off men. How should I be?
reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as sure as his guts			Reveng on him? Because I will be Reveng'd as safe as his intestine
are made of puddings.			are made of puddings.
Enter MISTRESS FORD			Enter Mistress Ford
MRS. FORD. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your			MRS. FORD. Mistress side! Trust me, I went to you
house.			Drink.
MRS. PAGE. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look			MRS. PAGE. And trust me, I came to you. You see They see
very ill.			very sick.
MRS. FORD. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to			MRS. FORD. No, I won't believe that; I have to show
the contrary.			the contrary.
MRS. PAGE. Faith, but you do, in my mind.			MRS. PAGE. Believe, but you do in my head.
MRS. FORD. Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show you to			MRS. FORD. Well, then I do; Still, I could show them it
the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel.			the contrary. O Herrin Page, give me advice.
MRS. PAGE. What's the matter, woman?			MRS. PAGE. What's going on, woman?
MRS. FORD. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect,			MRS. FORD. O Woman if there was not a little respect,
I could come to such honour!			I could come to such honor!
MRS. PAGE. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour. What			MRS. PAGE. Hang the little thing, woman; Take the honor. What
is it? Dispense with trifles; what is it?			is it? Do without small things; What is it?
MRS. FORD. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment			MRS. FORD. If I just went to hell for an eternal moment
or so, I could be knighted.			At least I could be beaten to the knight.
MRS. PAGE. What? Thou liest. Sir Alice Ford! These knights			MRS. PAGE. What? You read. Sir Alice Ford! These knights
will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy			will hack; And so you shouldn't change the article from yourself
gentry.			Gentry.
MRS. FORD. We burn daylight. Here, read, read; perceive			MRS. FORD. We burn daylight. Here, reading, reading; perceive
how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat			How I might be a knight. I will think the worse of fat
men as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's			Men as long as I have an eye to make the difference between men
liking. And yet he would not swear; prais'd women's			Taste. And yet he wouldn't swear; Prais'd Women's
modesty, and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof			Modesty and gave so decent and well -behaved blame
to all uncomeliness that I would have sworn his disposition			To all the uncertainty that I would have sworn his disposition
would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no			would have gone to the truth of his words; But they do no
more adhere and keep place together than the Hundredth			stick more and keep the space together than the hundredth
Psalm to the tune of 'Greensleeves.' What tempest, I trow,			Psalm in the 'Greensleeves' melody. What a storm, I drink,
threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly,			Thrown this whale with so many stomach oil in his stomach
ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I			Land in Windsor? How should I be renovated on him? I
think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till			Think, the best way was to entertain him with hope, Till
the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.			The evil fire of lust melted him in his own fat.
Did you ever hear the like?			Have you ever heard that?
MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and			MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter, but the name of the page and
Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill			Ford differs. To your great consolation in this secret of diseases
opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter; but let			Opinions, here is the twin brother of your letter; But let
thine			Your
inherit first, for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he			Inherit first because I protest, mine never becomes. I guarantee it
hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for			has a thousand of these letters, written with an empty room for
different names-sure, more!-and these are of the second			Different more name backups! And these are from the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not			Edition. He will print them out out of doubt; Because he doesn't care
what he puts into the press when he would put us two. I			What he put in the press when he gave us two. I
had rather be a giantess and lie under Mount Pelion. Well,			Had a giant and lay under the mountain of Pelion. Spring,
I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste			I will find you twenty lascivious turtles before a chaste
man.			Mann.
MRS. FORD. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the			MRS. FORD. That is the same; The hand, the
very words. What doth he think of us?			Very words. What does he think about us?
MRS. PAGE. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to			MRS. PAGE. No, I do not know; It almost makes me ready
wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like			Rang with my own honesty. I will talk how
one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he			One that I don't know; Sure, unless he
know some strain in me that I know not myself, he would			I know a burden in me that I don't know myself, he would do it
never have boarded me in this fury.			I have never installed myself in this anger.
MRS. FORD. 'Boarding' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him			MRS. FORD. Do you call it 'boarding'? I'll keep him sure to keep him
above deck.			About the deck.
MRS. PAGE. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never			MRS. PAGE. So I become; When he gets under my hatches, I will never
to sea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a			back to the lake. Let us be renovated on him; Let us appoint a
meeting, give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead			Meet, give him a show of the comfort in his suit and lead them
him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his			him with a fine bait delay until he has his farmer
horses to mine host of the Garter.			Horses to my host of the tights.
MRS. FORD. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against			MRS. FORD. No, I will agree to act against every villain
him that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O			The one who does not smear the cleanliness of our honesty. Ö
that my husband saw this letter! It would give eternal food			That my husband saw this letter! There would be eternal food
to his jealousy.			to his jealousy.
MRS. PAGE. Why, look where he comes; and my good man			MRS. PAGE. See where he is going; And my good man
too; he's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him			to; He is as far away from jealousy as I have to give him
cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.			because; And that is, I hope that it is not measurable.
MRS. FORD. You are the happier woman.			MRS. FORD. You are the happier woman.
MRS. PAGE. Let's consult together against this greasy knight.			MRS. PAGE. We consult against this greasy knight.
Come hither. [They retire]			Come here. [You retire]
Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with Nym			Enter Ford with a pistol and side with Nym
FORD. Well, I hope it be not so.			FORD. Well, I hope it's not that.
PISTOL. Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.			PISTOL. Hope is a careful dog in some affairs.
Sir John affects thy wife.			Sir John affects your wife.
FORD. Why, sir, my wife is not young.			FORD. Why, sir, my wife is not young.
PISTOL. He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,			PISTOL. It was both high and low, both rich and arm,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford;			Both young and old, one with another, Ford;
He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.			He loves the Gallimaufry. Ford, perpetrator.
FORD. Love my wife!			FORD. Love my wife!
PISTOL. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou,			PISTOL. Hot burns with the liver. Prevent or go
Like Sir Actaeon he, with Ringwood at thy heels.			Like Sir Actaeon, with Ringwood in your paragraphs.
O, odious is the name!			Oh, the name is hideous!
FORD. What name, sir?			FORD. Which name, sir?
PISTOL. The horn, I say. Farewell.			PISTOL. The horn, I say. Taking leave.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night;			Note, you have an open eye, because thieves do foot at night;
Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do sing.			Note before summer comes or sing cuckoo.
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.			Away, Sir Corporal Nym.
Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. Exit PISTOL			Believe it, page; He speaks meaning. Leave the pistol
FORD. [Aside] I will be patient; I will find out this.			FORD. [Aside] I will be patient; I will find out.
NYM. [To PAGE] And this is true; I like not the humour of			Nym. [To side] and that's true; I don't like the humor of
lying. He hath wronged me in some humours; I should			liar. He did me wrong in some humor; I should
have borne the humour'd letter to her; but I have a sword,			I born the humorous letter to her; But I have a sword
and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife;			And it will bite my necessity. He loves your wife;
there's the short and the long.			There is short and the long.
My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch;			My name is corporal nym; I speak and avouch;
Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.			It was. My name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife.
Adieu! I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and			Adieu! I don't love the humor of bread and cheese; and
there's the humour of it. Adieu. Exit Nym			There is the humor of it. Adieu. End nym
PAGE. 'The humour of it,' quoth 'a! Here's a fellow frights			PAGE. "The humor of it," Quoth 'A! Here is a faster
English out of his wits.			English from his mind.
FORD. I will seek out Falstaff.			FORD. I will look for Falstaff.
PAGE. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.			PAGE. I've never heard such a villain.
FORD. If I do find it-well.			FORD. When I find it.
PAGE. I will not believe such a Cataian though the priest o'			PAGE. I will not believe such a Cataian, although the priest o '
th' town commended him for a true man.			The city praised him for a true man.
FORD. 'Twas a good sensible fellow. Well.			FORD. 'It was a good reasonable guy. Spring.
MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward			Mistress Page and Mistress Ford report
PAGE. How now, Meg!			PAGE. Like now, Meg!
MRS. PAGE. Whither go you, George? Hark you.			MRS. PAGE. Where are you going, George? Hark you.
MRS. FORD. How now, sweet Frank, why art thou melancholy?			MRS. FORD. How now, sweet Frank, why are you melancholic?
FORD. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home;			FORD. I melancholic! I am not melancholic. Take your home;
go.			walk.
MRS. FORD. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now.			MRS. FORD. Believe you now have a few steps in your head.
Will you go, Mistress Page?			Will you go, mistress page?
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY			Fast the mistress quickly
MRS. PAGE. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George?			MRS. PAGE. Have with you. You will come to dinner, George?
[Aside to MRS. FORD] Look who comes yonder; she shall			[Apart from Mrs. Ford] Look, who comes over there; she should
be our messenger to this paltry knight.			Be our messenger of this poor knight.
MRS. FORD. [Aside to MRS. PAGE] Trust me, I thought on			MRS. FORD. [Apart from Mrs. Page] trust me, I thought
her; she'll fit it.			She; It will fit it.
MRS. PAGE. You are come to see my daughter Anne?			MRS. PAGE. Did you come to see my daughter Anne?
QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress			QUICKLY. Ay, wrong; And I pray how are good loved ones
Anne?			Anne?
MRS. PAGE. Go in with us and see; we have an hour's talk			MRS. PAGE. Go into us and see; We have an hour of conversation
with you. Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and			with you. Exeunt Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and
MISTRESS QUICKLY			Mistress fast
PAGE. How now, Master Ford!			PAGE. Like now, Master Ford!
FORD. You heard what this knave told me, did you not?			FORD. You heard what this villain told me, right?
PAGE. Yes; and you heard what the other told me?			PAGE. Yes; And you heard what the other said to me?
FORD. Do you think there is truth in them?			FORD. Do you think it's truth in them?
PAGE. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer			PAGE. Hang them, slaves! I don't think the knight would offer
it;			it is;
but these that accuse him in his intent towards our			but these who accuse him of his intention to
wives are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now			Women are a yoke of his thrown away men; now very rogue, now
they be out of service.			They are out of service.
FORD. Were they his men?			FORD. Were you his men?
PAGE. Marry, were they.			PAGE. Get married.
FORD. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the			FORD. I never like it better for that. He lies on the
Garter?			Strumping tape?
PAGE. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage			PAGE. Yes, get married, he does. If he should intend this trip
toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what			I would get started with my wife; and what
he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.			He gets more of her than sharp words, leave it on my head.
FORD. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to			FORD. I don't have my wife wrong; But I would reject it
turn them together. A man may be too confident. I would			Turn them together. A man can be too confident. I would
have nothing lie on my head. I cannot be thus satisfied.			I have nothing on my head. So I can't be satisfied.
Enter HOST			Enter host
PAGE. Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes.			PAGE. Watch where my scolding of the panties comes.
There is either liquor in his pate or money in his purse			There is either alcohol in his pate or money in his handbag
when he looks so merrily. How now, mine host!			When he looks so happy. Like now, my host!
HOST. How now, bully rook! Thou'rt a gentleman. [To			HOST. Like now, Bully Rook! You are a gentleman. [To
SHALLOW following] Cavaleiro Justice, I say.			Flat after] Cavaleiro justice, I say.
Enter SHALLOW			Enter flat
SHALLOW. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and			SHALLOW. I follow my host, I follow. Good even and
twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with			Twenty, good master page! Master page, you will go with
us? We have sport in hand.			us? We have sports in our hands.
HOST. Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bully rook.			HOST. Tell him, Cavaleiro justice; Tell him, Moby Tan.
SHALLOW. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh			SHALLOW. Sir, there is a fight against Sir Hugh between Sir Hugh
the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.			The Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.
FORD. Good mine host o' th' Garter, a word with you.			FORD. Good mine host o 'th' th 'stocking, a word with them.
HOST. What say'st thou, my bully rook? [They go aside]			HOST. What do you say my tyrant? [You go aside]
SHALLOW. [To PAGE] Will you go with us to behold it? My			SHALLOW. [On page] will you go with us to see it? my
merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and,			Happy hosts had the measurement of their weapons; and,
I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe			I think she has appointed her against the places; Because believe
me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you			I hear the pastor is not a fool. Hark, I'll tell you
what our sport shall be. [They converse apart]			What our sport should be. [They talk apart]
HOST. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleiro.			HOST. Do you have no suit against my knight, my guest cavaleiro.
FORD. None, I protest; but I'll give you a pottle of burnt			FORD. None, I protest; But I give you a sperm burned
sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is			Sack to use him and tell him, my name is
Brook-only for a jest.			Brook only for a joke.
HOST. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress-			HOST. My hand, bullying; You should have exit and recourse.
said I well?-and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry			I said well? And your name should be Brook. It's happy
knight. Will you go, Mynheers?			Knight. Will you go, Mynheers?
SHALLOW. Have with you, mine host.			SHALLOW. Do you have my host with them.
PAGE. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his			PAGE. I heard that the Frenchman has good skills in his
rapier.			Rapier.
SHALLOW. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these			SHALLOW. Does, sir, I could have told you more. In these
times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and			Sometimes they are at a distance, their passports, stoccadoes and
I know not what. 'Tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis here,			I do not know what. It is the heart, master side; It is here,
tis here. I have seen the time with my long sword I would			It is here. I saw the time with my long sword that I would
have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.			Have had four large scholarship holders over as rats.
HOST. Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?			HOST. Here, guys here, here! Should we wag?
PAGE. Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than			PAGE. Have with you. I preferred to hear her scolding
fight. Exeunt all but FORD			Battle. Leave all out of Ford
FORD. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on			FORD. Although page is a safe fool and is so firm
his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so			The frailty of his wife, but I can't put my opinion on this
easily. She was in his company at Page's house, and what			easy. She was at Page's House in his society and what
they made there I know not. Well, I will look further into			You did there that I don't know. Well, I'll look further in
t, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her			T, and I have a cladding to sound Falstaff. When I find them
honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis			Honestly, I don't lose my work; If it is different, it is
labour			work
well bestowed. Exit			Well awarded. Exit
SCENE 2.			Scene 2.
A room in the Garter Inn			A room in the Garmter Inn
Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL			Enter Falstaff and Pistol
FALSTAFF. I will not lend thee a penny.			Falstaff. I will not lend you a cent.
PISTOL. I will retort the sum in equipage.			PISTOL. I will expand the sum in the equipment.
FALSTAFF. Not a penny.			Falstaff. No cent.
PISTOL. Why, then the world's mine oyster. Which I with			PISTOL. Why, then the world's mine. With what I do with
sword will open.			Sword will open.
FALSTAFF. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should			Falstaff. No cent. I was satisfied, sir, you should
lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated upon my good			Place my face in the farmers. I rubbed my good
friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow,			Friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow,
Nym; or else you had look'd through the grate, like a			Nym; Or you looked like A through the rust
geminy of baboons. I am damn'd in hell for swearing to			Gemstone of Pavianen. I am damn in hell because I swore
gentlemen my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows;			Men, my friends, you were good soldiers and big colleagues;
and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan,			And when Mistress Bridget lost the grip of her fan,
I took 't upon mine honour thou hadst it not.			I didn't get my honor that you didn't have it.
PISTOL. Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence?			PISTOL. Didn't you shared? Didn't you have fifteen pence?
FALSTAFF. Reason, you rogue, reason. Think'st thou I'll			Falstaff. Reason, they villain, reason. Think I will
endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me,			endanger my soul for free? Do not stop at one word anymore
I am no gibbet for you. Go-a short knife and a throng!-			I'm not a gibbet for you. GO-A Short knife and a lot!-
to your manor of Pickt-hatch; go. You'll not bear a letter			To your manor house from Pickt-Hatch; walk. You will not wear a letter
for me, you rogue! You stand upon your honour! Why,			For me, you villain! You stand on your honor! Why,
thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to			You are uncontrollable, it is as much as I can
keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself			Keep the conditions of my honor precisely. Me, me, I myself
sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand, and			Sometimes the fear of God leaves in the left hand and
hiding			hidden
mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge,			I am my honor in my need for mixing, to be secured, securing,
and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags,			and to tumble; And yet they will, Rogue, anchor their rags,
your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and			Your cat-a-mountain look, your red-gattice phrases and
your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour!			Your brave oath, under the protection of your honor!
You will not do it, you!			You won't do it, you!
PISTOL. I do relent; what would thou more of man?			PISTOL. I give up; What would you be more of man?
Enter ROBIN			Enter Robin
ROBIN. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.			Robin. Sir, here is a woman who would talk to you.
FALSTAFF. Let her approach.			Falstaff. Let them approach.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY			Fast the mistress quickly
QUICKLY. Give your worship good morrow.			QUICKLY. Give your worship well tomorrow.
FALSTAFF. Good morrow, good wife.			Falstaff. Good morning, good woman.
QUICKLY. Not so, an't please your worship.			QUICKLY. Not so, not please your worship.
FALSTAFF. Good maid, then.			Falstaff. Good maid then.
QUICKLY. I'll be sworn;			QUICKLY. I am sworn in;
As my mother was, the first hour I was born.			Like my mother, in the first hour I was born.
FALSTAFF. I do believe the swearer. What with me?			Falstaff. I think the Schwörer. What is with me?
QUICKLY. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?			QUICKLY. Should I guarantee your worship one or two words?
FALSTAFF. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe			Falstaff. Two thousand, fair woman; And I'll guarantee
thee the hearing.			You the Heine.
QUICKLY. There is one Mistress Ford, sir-I pray, come a little			QUICKLY. There is a mistress for Ford, sir-ego pray, come a little
nearer this ways. I myself dwell with Master Doctor			closer. I myself live with Master Doctor
Caius.			Caius.
FALSTAFF. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say-			Falstaff. Well, on: Mistress Ford, say you-
QUICKLY. Your worship says very true. I pray your worship			QUICKLY. Their worship says very true. I pray your worship
come a little nearer this ways.			Come a little closer.
FALSTAFF. I warrant thee nobody hears-mine own people,			Falstaff. I guarantee that nobody hears people themselves when I hear their own people.
mine own people.			My own people.
QUICKLY. Are they so? God bless them, and make them his			QUICKLY. Are you like that? God bless them and make them his
servants!			Diener!
FALSTAFF. Well; Mistress Ford, what of her?			Falstaff. Spring; Mistress Ford, what about her?
QUICKLY. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Lord, your			QUICKLY. Why, Sir, she is a good creature. Lord, Lord, yours
worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of			Adoration is a willful one! Well, the sky forgive you and everything
us, I pray.			We pray.
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford-			Falstaff. Mistress Ford; Come on, Mistress Ford-
QUICKLY. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you			QUICKLY. Marriage, that's the short one and the long of it: you
have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful.			I brought them in as channel as'.
The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor,			The best court of all when the court was in Windsor,
could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet			She could never have brought them to such a canaries. still
there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with			There were knights and gentlemen, with
their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after			Your trainers; I guarantee you, coach after the trainer, letter afterwards
letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and			Letter, gift by gift; smell so cute, all musk and
so			Also
rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such			Rusling, I guarantee you in silk and gold; And in such
alligant			Alligant
terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the			Conditions; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the
fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and I			Beautiful, that would have won a woman's heart; and me
warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.			Guarantee her, you could never get a eye win from her.
I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I			I had given myself twenty angels this morning; but I
defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the			Despite all the angels in such a way, as they say, but in the
way of honesty; and, I warrant you, they could never get			Type of honesty; And I guarantee them that they could never get
her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all;			They sip on a cup with the proudest of all;
and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more,			And yet there was Earls, no, what is more,
pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.			Pensioner; But I guarantee you, everything is one with her.
FALSTAFF. But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she-			Falstaff. But what does she say to me? Be short, my good she-
Mercury.			Mercury.
QUICKLY. Marry, she hath receiv'd your letter; for the			QUICKLY. Marriage, she received your letter; for the
which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you			What she thanks you a thousand times; And she gives you
to notify that her husband will be absence from his house			to notify that her husband will be absent from his house
between ten and eleven.			Between ten and eleven.
FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven?			Falstaff. Ten and eleven?
QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see			QUICKLY. Ay, wrong; And then they can come and see
the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master Ford, her			The picture, she says that she from. Master Ford, you
husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads			Husband will be from home. Unfortunately the sweet woman leads
an ill life with him! He's a very jealousy man; she leads a			A sick life with him! He is a very jealous man; It leads a
very frampold life with him, good heart.			Very Frampold life with him, good heart.
FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I			Falstaff. Ten and eleven. Woman, recommends me; I
will not fail her.			It won't fail.
QUICKLY. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger			QUICKLY. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger
to your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations			To your worship. Mistress Page has her warm committees
to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she's as			you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she is as
fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will			Fart a civilian woman, and one, I tell you that will
not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in			Don't miss an evening prayer tomorrow as it is
Windsor, whoe'er be the other; and she bade me tell your			Windsor that is the other; And she asked me to tell you
worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she			Worship that her husband is rarely from home, but she
hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so			hopes that it will come. I never knew a woman like that
dote upon a man: surely I think you have charms, la! Yes,			A man: I think you have charms, la! Yes,
in truth.			the truth is.
FALSTAFF. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my			Falstaff. Not me, I assure you; Set the attraction of my
good parts aside, I have no other charms.			Apart from good parts, I have no other stimuli.
QUICKLY. Blessing on your heart for 't!			QUICKLY. Blessing on your heart for 't!
FALSTAFF. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and			Falstaff. But I pray you, tell me the following: has Ford's wife and
Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?			Page's wife got to know how they love me?
QUICKLY. That were a jest indeed! They have not so little			QUICKLY. That was indeed a joke! You don't have that little
grace, I hope-that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page			Grace, I hope that was indeed a trick! But Mistress Page
would desire you to send her your little page of all loves.			Would like to send her her little side of all loved ones.
Her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page;			Her husband has a wonderful infection to the small side;
and truly Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in			And really Master page is an honest man. Never a woman in
Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will,			Windsor leads a better life than you; do what she wants
say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she			Say what you will do, take everything, pay everything, go to bed when you
list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she			List, rise when listing, everything is the way she wants; And really you
deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she			deserves it; Because if there is a friendly woman in Windsor, she
is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.			is a. You have to send her your site; No means.
FALSTAFF. Why, I will.			Falstaff. Why, I will.
QUICKLY. Nay, but do so then; and, look you, he may come			QUICKLY. No, but then do it; And look, he can come
and go between you both; and in any case have a			And go between you both; and definitely one
nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy			No, the word so that you know each other and the boy, and the boy
never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that			I never have to understand anything; Because it's not that good
children should know any wickedness. Old folks, you			Children should know every malice. Old people, you
know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.			Know that they have discretion, as they say and know the world.
FALSTAFF. Fare thee well; commend me to them both.			Falstaff. Live well; I recommend both.
There's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with			There is my handbag; I am still your debtor. Boy, keep going
this woman. [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN] This news			this woman. [Exeunt quickly and robin] this message
distracts me.			distracts me.
PISTOL. [Aside] This punk is one of Cupid's carriers;			PISTOL. [Next to] this punk is one of the cupid carriers;
Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights;			Clap more sails; pursue; With your fights;
Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! Exit			Give fire; She is my price or Ocean Whelm you all! Exit
FALSTAFF. Say'st thou so, old Jack; go thy ways; I'll make			Falstaff. Say so, old Jack; Go your way; I will make
more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look			More of your old body than I did. Will you still look?
after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money,			after you? Do you want to cost so much money
be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say			Be a win now? Good body, thank you. Let them say
tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.			It is roughly made; So it's pretty finished, no matter.
Enter BARDOLPH			Enter bardolph
BARDOLPH. Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would			Bardolph. Sir John, there is a master Brook down
fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath			Talk to them and know each other with them; and has
sent your worship a moming's draught of sack.			Your worship sent the sack design of a moming.
FALSTAFF. Brook is his name?			Falstaff. Brook is his name?
BARDOLPH. Ay, sir.			Bardolph. Mond, sir.
FALSTAFF. Call him in. [Exit BARDOLPH] Such Brooks are			Falstaff. Call him. [Output Bardolph] Such Brooks are
welcome to me, that o'erflows such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress			Welcome to me that it flew out such an alcohol. Ah, ha! mistress
Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? Go to;			Ford and Mistress Page, did I close them? Go to;
via!			above!
Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised			Bardolph step back in Bardolph, disguised with Ford
FORD. Bless you, sir!			FORD. Snail yourself, sir!
FALSTAFF. And you, sir! Would you speak with me?			Falstaff. And she, sir! Would you talk to me?
FORD. I make bold to press with so little preparation upon			FORD. I make brave to press with so little preparation
you.			She.
FALSTAFF. You're welcome. What's your will? Give us leave,			Falstaff. You are welcome. What is your will? Give us a vacation,
drawer. Exit BARDOLPH			Drawer. Leave Bardolph
FORD. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name			FORD. Sir, I am a gentleman who spent a lot; my name
is Brook.			Is Brook.
FALSTAFF. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance			Falstaff. Good master Brook, I wish more acquaintance
of you.			from you.
FORD. Good Sir John, I sue for yours-not to charge you; for I			FORD. Good Sir John, I sue for your ---- to calculate you. for I
must let you understand I think myself in better plight for			She has to let her understand that I am in a better emergency for a better emergency for
a lender than you are; the which hath something			a lender than you; What has something
embold'ned me to this unseason'd intrusion; for they say, if			encouraged me to get this unseason; Because they say if
money go before, all ways do lie open.			Money go beforehand, all paths are open.
FALSTAFF. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.			Falstaff. Money is a good soldier, sir and will.
FORD. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me; if			FORD. Troth, and I have a bag of money here is bothering me; if
you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for			You will help wear it, Sir John, take everyone or half for
easing			Loosening
me of the carriage.			I from the car.
FALSTAFF. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your			Falstaff. Sir, I don't know how I can earn it to be yours
porter.			Porter.
FORD. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.			FORD. I will tell you, if you give me the hearing.
FALSTAFF. Speak, good Master Brook; I shall be glad to be			Falstaff. Talk, good master Brook; I will be happy to be
your servant.			Your servant.
FORD. Sir, I hear you are a scholar-I will be brief with you			FORD. Sir, I hear that you are a scholarly I will be briefly with you
-and you have been a man long known to me, though I			-And you were a man who was known to me for a long time
had never so good means as desire to make myself acquainted			Never had such good means to get to know me, to get to know me
with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein			with you. I'll discover something to you in that
I must very much lay open mine own imperfection; but,			I have to open my own imperfection; but,
good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you			Good Sir John, how they have an eye on my follies, like them
hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your			Listen to it unfolded, transform another into the register of yours
own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you			own
yourself know how easy is it to be such an offender.			You know how easy it is to be such a perpetrator.
FALSTAFF. Very well, sir; proceed.			Falstaff. Very good, sir; get lost.
FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's			FORD. In this city there is a gentle woman that of her husband
name is Ford.			Name is Ford.
FALSTAFF. Well, sir.			Falstaff. Nun, sir.
FORD. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestowed			FORD. I loved her for a long time and I protest you to you
much on her; followed her with a doting observance;			a lot for them; followed her with a point observation;
engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight			Came the opportunity to meet them; Fee every light
occasion			opportunity
that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not			That could only give me a look at her; Not
only bought many presents to give her, but have given			only bought a lot of gifts to give them, but gave
largely to many to know what she would have given;			largely known to many what she would have given;
briefly, I have pursu'd her as love hath pursued me; which			In short, I followed her how love followed me; the
hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I			Was in the wing of all occasions. But whatever me
have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed, I			I deserved either in my head or in my means, I, me
am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a jewel;			I am sure I have not received any unless the experience is a jewel.
that I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath			that I bought at an infinite price and has that
taught me to say this:			Teached me to say that:
Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;			Love flies like a shadow when the substance love is followed;
Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.'			Follows that flies and flies what follows. '
FALSTAFF. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at			Falstaff. Do you have no promise of satisfaction
her hands?			Your hands?
FORD. Never.			FORD. Never.
FALSTAFF. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose?			Falstaff. Did you make it important for such a purpose?
FORD. Never.			FORD. Never.
FALSTAFF. Of what quality was your love, then?			Falstaff. What was your love then?
FORD. Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so			FORD. Like a fair house on the ground of another man; So
that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where			that I lost my building by confusing the place where I
erected it.			built it.
FALSTAFF. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?			Falstaff. For what purpose did you develop this to me?
FORD. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some			FORD. When I told you that, I told you everything. Some
say that though she appear honest to me, yet in other			Say that, although she looks honest with me, in others
places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd			Places where she enlarges her joy so far that it is smart
construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart			Construction from her. Well, Sir John, here is the heart
of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent			From my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent
breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic			Breeding, admirable discourse, great admission, authentic
in			in
your place and person, generally allow'd for your many			Your place and your person who generally allow for your many
war-like, courtlike, and learned preparations.	Poor Milliscent		War -like, judicial and scholars preparations.
FALSTAFF. O, sir!	Must pray and repent:		Falstaff. O, Sir!
FORD. Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend it,			FORD. Believe it because you know. There is money; spend, it,
spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so			Spend it; spend more; Spend everything; Just give me that
much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable			Much of their time in exchange to a lovable
siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife; use your art of			Siege for the honesty of the woman of this Ford; Use your art of
wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you			Wooing, win them to agree. If a man can, she, you
may as soon as any.			May as fast as everyone.
FALSTAFF. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your			Falstaff. It would be good for the vehemence of yours
affection, that I should win what you would enjoy?			Affection that I should win what you would enjoy?
Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.			If you prescribe yourself very absurd.
FORD. O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the			FORD. Oh, understand my drift. She lives on the
excellency of her honour that the folly of my soul dares			Excellence of their honor that dares to folly my soul
not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against.			do not present yourself; It is too bright to look against it.
Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand,			Could I now come to her with every discovery in my hand
my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves;			My wishes had examples and reasoning to praise themselves;
I could drive her then from the ward of her purity,			I could then drive her from the station of her purity
her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her			Your reputation, your marriage vow and a thousand others
defences, which now are too too strongly embattl'd against			Defense that have now been handled too much against each other
me. What say you to't, Sir John?			me. What do you not say, Sir John?
FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your			Falstaff. Master Brook, I'll make you bravely with yours
money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a			Money; Next give me your hand; And finally how I am one
gentleman,			Gentleman,
you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.			If you like, you will enjoy Ford's wife.
FORD. O good sir!			FORD. O good sir!
FALSTAFF. I say you shall.			Falstaff. I say you should.
FORD. Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.			FORD. Don't you want money, Sir John; You shouldn't want any.
FALSTAFF. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall			Falstaff. Do you don't want Mistress for Ford, Master Brook; you shall
want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own			You don't want any. I will be with her, I can tell you about her own
appointment; even as you came in to me her assistant, or			planned date; Even if you came to me, her assistant, or
go-between, parted from me; I say I shall be with her between			In between, separated from me; I say I will be in between with her
ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally			ten and eleven; Because at that time the jealous loving
knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at			Valley, her husband, will be excellent. You come to me
night; you shall know how I speed.			Night; You will know how to accelerate.
FORD. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford,			FORD. I am blessed in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford,
Sir?			Mister?
FALSTAFF. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him			Falstaff. Hang him up, poor cock! I know him
not; yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the			Not; Nevertheless, I false to call him poor; You say that
jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which			Jealous Wittolly villain has masses of money; For that which one
his wife seems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the			His wife seems to me to be good. I will use them as they
key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my			Key of the Hahnrugher case; And there is mine
harvest-home.			Harvest home.
FORD. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him			FORD. I would know Ford, sir, that they could avoid him
if you saw him.			When you've seen him.
FALSTAFF. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will			Falstaff. Hang him up, mechanical salt butter villain! I will
stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel;			Stare him out of his mind; I will influence it with my cudgel;
it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master			It will hang like a meteor over the horn horns of the tap. master
Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the			Brook, you should know that I'm going to have the prevailing
peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at			Farmers, and you should lie with his wife. Come to me soon
night. Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou,			Night. Ford is a villain and I will make his style worse; you,
Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.			Master Brook, should be known for villain and rooster.
Come to me soon at night. Exit			Come to me soon at night. Exit
FORD. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is			FORD. What a damn epicurean rascal it is! My heart is
ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident			Ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident
jealousy? My wife hath sent to him; the hour is fix'd;			Jealousy? My wife sent him; The hour is fixed;
the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See	Jesus daughter, Mary's child,		The match is made. Would a man think that? See
the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abus'd,	Holy matron, woman mild,		Hell to have a wrong woman! My bed should be canceled
my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall	For thee a mass shall still be said,		My health insurers penetrate, my call gnawn; and I will
not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the	Every sister drop a bead;		Not only do they get this villain incorrectly, they are also under the
adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me	And those again succeeding them		Adoption of hideous terms and from him who does me
this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer,	For you shall sing a Requiem.		This is wrong. Conditions! Name! Amaimon sounds good; Lucifer,
well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the			Good; Barbason, well; Nevertheless, they are the additions of the devils, the
names			Names
of fiends. But cuckold! Wittol! Cuckold! the devil himself			from unhroh. But cock! Wittol! Cuckold! The devil itself
hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will			has no such name. Page is an ass, a safe ass; he will
trust			trust
his wife; he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a			his wife; He will not be jealous; I will rather trust one
Fleming			Fleming
with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my			With my butter, Parson Hugh the Welsh with mine
cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to			Cheese, an Irish with my Aqua vitae bottle or a thief too
walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself. Then			Go gelding with my lamp as my wife with myself. Then then
she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what			She plans, then she roughly shapes, then develops; and what
they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break			They think in their hearts that they can have an impact, they will break
their hearts but they will effect. God be prais'd for my			Their hearts, but they will work. God is praised for mine
jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour. I will prevent this,			Jealousy! Eleven an hour. I will prevent that
detect			recognize
my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page.			My wife, be on Falstaff and laughed at the side.
I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute			I will about that; Better three hours early than a minute
too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! Exit	May your happy soul be blithe,		too late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold! Exit
	That so truly pay your tithe:
	He who many children gave,
	Tis fit that he one child should have.
	Then, fair virgin, hear my spell,
SCENE 3.	For I must your duty tell.		Scene 3.
A field near Windsor			A field near Windsor
Enter CAIUS and RUGBY			Enter Caius and Rugby
CAIUS. Jack Rugby!	First, a mornings take your book,		Caius. Jack Rugby!
RUGBY. Sir?	The glass wherein your self must look;		RUGBY. Mister?
CAIUS. Vat is de clock, Jack?			Caius. VAT is de Clock, Jack?
RUGBY. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to			RUGBY. It is over the hour, Sir that Sir Hugh promises.
meet.			To meet.
CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come; he has			Caius. He saved his soul from even. He did not come; He has
pray his Pible well dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby,			Pray his pible well, he hasn't come; by cook, jack rugby,
he is dead already, if he be come.			He's already dead when he came.
RUGBY. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill			RUGBY. He is wise, sir; He knew that your worship would kill
him if he came.			He when he came.
CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.			Caius. The Herring is not dead from even, as I am killing him.
Take			Take
your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.			Your rapier, Jack; I tell you village as I kill him.
RUGBY. Alas, sir, I cannot fence!			RUGBY. Unfortunately, I can't go to female!
CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier.			Caius. Rogue, take your rapier.
RUGBY. Forbear; here's company.			RUGBY. Ancestor; Here is society.
Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE	You shall ring the sacring bell,		Enter host, flat, slim and side
	Keep your hours, and tell your knell,
HOST. Bless thee, bully doctor!	Rise at midnight at your matins,		HOST. Bless yourself, bullying doctor!
SHALLOW. Save you, Master Doctor Caius!	Read your Psalter, sing your latins,		SHALLOW. Save yourself, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE. Now, good Master Doctor!	And when your blood shall kindle pleasure,		PAGE. Well, good master doctor!
SLENDER. Give you good morrow, sir.	Scourge your self in plenteous measure.		SLIM. Give yourself a good morning, sir.
CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?			Caius. VAT. Be everything you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee			HOST. To see you to fight you, see you to see you
traverse;			Traverse;
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy			To see you here, to see you there; to see you
punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.			Punto, your stock, your backwards, your distance, your montant.
Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,			Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,
bully! What says my Aesculapius? my Galen? my heart			bullying! What does my Aesculapius say? My galen? my heart
of elder? Ha! is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?			From oldest? Ha! Is he dead, bullying? Is he dead?
CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de world; he is			Caius. From even he is de Feiger Jack Priest from de World; he is
not show his face.			don't show his face.
HOST. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece,			HOST. You are a castalion king urininal. Hector of Greece,
my boy!			my boy!
CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or			Caius. I pray you, see that I have been six or stayed or
seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come.			Seven or two tree hours for him and he didn't come.
SHALLOW. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer			SHALLOW. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer
of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight,			of souls and you a curer of bodies; If you should fight
you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true,			They go against their professions' hair. Is it not true
Master Page?			Master page?
PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,			PAGE. Master flat, they were a great fighter themselves,
though now a man of peace.	You must read the mornings mass,		Although now a man of peace.
SHALLOW. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and	You must creep unto the Cross,		SHALLOW. Bodykins, Master page, even though I am now old and
of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make	Put cold ashes on your head,		of peace, when I look a sword, itchy to make my finger
one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen,	Have a hair cloth for your bed.		one. Although we are judges, doctors and church men,
Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are			Master page, we have a salt of our youth in us; we are
the sons of women, Master Page.			The sons of women, Master side.
PAGE. 'Tis true, Master Shallow.			PAGE. It is true, master flat.
SHALLOW. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor			SHALLOW. It is found like this, Master page. Master Doctor
CAIUS, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace;			Caius, I come to bring you home. I am sworn by peace;
you have show'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh	Bid your beads, and tell your needs,		You showed yourself a wise doctor and Sir Hugh
hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You	Your holy Avies, and you Creeds;		has shown himself as a wise and patient church man. You
must go with me, Master Doctor.	Holy maid, this must be done,		Must go with me, Master Doctor.
HOST. Pardon, Guest Justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.	If you mean to live a Nun.		HOST. Sorry, guest justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.
CAIUS. Mock-vater! Vat is dat?			Caius. Mock father! Is that barrel?
HOST. Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.			HOST. Mockwater in our English language is bravery, bullying.
CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.			Caius. From even, then I have as much mock father as de English.
Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.			Skorbler Jack-Dog priest! From cooked, I village cut his ears.
HOST. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.			HOST. He will steal you firmly, bully.
CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?			Caius. Clauer! Is that barrel?
HOST. That is, he will make thee amends.			HOST. That means he will change you.
CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for,			Caius. From even, I look, he should steal me. to the,
by gar, me vill have it.			From cooked, I have it.
HOST. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.			HOST. And I will provoke him or let him wag.
CAIUS. Me tank you for dat.			Caius. I refuel you for dat.
HOST. And, moreover, bully-but first: [Aside to the others]			HOST. And also bullying first: [aside to the others]
Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender,			Master Gast and Master Page and Eke Cavaleiro Slender,
go you through the town to Frogmore.			Go through the city to Frogmore.
PAGE. [Aside] Sir Hugh is there, is he?			PAGE. [Next to] Sir Hugh, right?
HOST. [Aside] He is there. See what humour he is in; and			HOST. [Aside] he is there. See in which humor he is; and
I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?			I will bring the doctor in the fields. Will it do it well?
SHALLOW. [Aside] We will do it.			SHALLOW. [Aside] We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Adieu, good Master Doctor.			Page, flat and slim. Adieu, good master doctor.
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER			Exeunt side, flat and slim
CAIUS. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-			Caius. I kill village Kill de Priest; Because he speaks for a jack
an-ape to Anne Page.			Anne side.
HOST. Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water			HOST. Let him die. Sheat your impatience; Throw cold water
on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore;			on your choler; Go through Frogmore to the fields with me.
I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a a			I will bring you where the mistress is Anne Page, with a A
farm-house, a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried			Farmhaus, a-party; And you should rewind them. Cried
game! Said I well?			Game! I said well?
CAIUS. By gar, me dank you vor dat; by gar, I love you; and			Caius. From cooked, I thank you before dat; from even, I love you; and
I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de			I will get a good guest, de Earl, de Knight, de
lords, de gentlemen, my patients.			Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
HOST. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne			HOST. For what I will be your opponent towards Anne
Page. Said I well?			Book page. I said well?
CAIUS. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.			Caius. From even, it's good; Said Vell.
HOST. Let us wag, then.			HOST. Then let us wag.
CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. Exeunt			Andrew. Come to my heels, Jack Rugby. Exit
ACT III SCENE 1.			Act III scene 1.
A field near Frogmore			A field near Frogmore
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE			Enter Sir Hugh Evans and just
EVANS. I pray you now, good Master Slender's serving-man,			Evans. I am now praying you, the servant of the good master Slender, man,
and friend Simple by your name, which way have you			And just friend with your name, in which way do you have?
look'd for Master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of			Look for Master Caius, that's the name of a doctor of
Physic?			Physics?
SIMPLE. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward; every			EASY. Get married, sir, the Pittie-Ward, the Park Ward; everyone
way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.			Path; Old Windsor path and in every respect to the city.
EVANS. I most fehemently desire you you will also look that			Evans. I wish you the most, you will look too much too
way.			Away.
SIMPLE. I will, Sir. Exit			EASY. I will, sir. Exit
EVANS. Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and trempling			Evans. Pless my soul, how full of chollor
of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How			From spirit! I will be happy if he has deceived me. As
melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's			I am melancholies! I will fight his urinals over the villain
costard when I have goot opportunities for the ork. Pless			Costard, when I have Goot opportunities for the Ork. Pless
my soul! [Sings]			my soul! [Sing]
To shallow rivers, to whose falls			After flat rivers, whose waterfalls
Melodious birds sings madrigals;			Melodious birds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,			We will do our peds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies.			And a thousand fragrant positions.
To shallow-			After flat
Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [Sings]			Grace me! I have great dispositions to cry. [Sing]
Melodious birds sing madrigals-			Melodious birds sing madrigal
Whenas I sat in Pabylon-			When I was sitting in Pabylon
And a thousand vagram posies.			And a thousand vagram positions.
To shallow, etc.			Flat etc.
Re-enter SIMPLE			Simply enter
SIMPLE. Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.			EASY. There he is, so he comes in this way, Sir Hugh.
EVANS. He's welcome. [Sings]			Evans. He is welcome. [Sing]
To shallow rivers, to whose falls-			After flat rivers, to their fall
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?			Heaven thrives the right thing! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master			EASY. No weapons, sir. Then my master comes, master
Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the			Flach and another gentleman of Frogmore about the
stile, this way.			Style, I know.
EVANS. Pray you give me my gown; or else keep it in your			Evans. Pray, you give me my dress; Or keep it in your
arms. [Takes out a book]			Weapons. [Take out a book]
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER			Enter page, flat and slim
SHALLOW. How now, Master Parson! Good morrow, good			SHALLOW. Like now, Master Parson! Good morning, good
Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student			Sir Hugh. Keep a game from the cube and a good student
from his book, and it is wonderful.			From his book and it's wonderful.
SLENDER. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page!			SLIM. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne page!
PAGE. Save you, good Sir Hugh!			PAGE. Save yourself, good Sir Hugh!
EVANS. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!			Evans. Pless your mercy, all of you!
SHALLOW. What, the sword and the word! Do you study			SHALLOW. What, the sword and the word! Do you study
them both, Master Parson?			You both, pair of master?
PAGE. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw			PAGE. And still youthful, in your double and hose, this raw
rheumatic day!			Rheumatic day!
EVANS. There is reasons and causes for it.			Evans. There are reasons and causes.
PAGE. We are come to you to do a good office, Master			PAGE. We came to you to make a good office, master
Parson.			Pfarrer.
EVANS. Fery well; what is it?			Evans. Celebrate well; What is it?
PAGE. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having			PAGE. Yonder is a very awesome gentleman who has Belike
received wrong by some person, is at most odds with			welcomed by one person is at most opportunities with
his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.			His own severity and patience they have ever seen.
SHALLOW. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never			SHALLOW. I lived up quarterly and up; I never
heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of			heard a man from his place, gravity and learning, so wide
his own respect.			His own respect.
EVANS. What is he?			Evans. What is he?
PAGE. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the			PAGE. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renowned French physician.			Renown French doctor.
EVANS. Got's will and his passion of my heart! I had as lief			Evans. Got's will and his passion of my heart! I had as
you would tell me of a mess of porridge.			They would tell me about a chaos of porridge.
PAGE. Why?			PAGE. Why?
EVANS. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and			Evans. He has no more knowledge in Hibrokrates and
Galen, and he is a knave besides-a cowardly knave as you			Galen, and he is a villain next to a cowardly villain like her
would desires to be acquainted withal.			Wished with the wish.
PAGE. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.			PAGE. I guarantee you, he is the man who should fight with him.
SLENDER. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!			SLIM. [Aside] O Sweet Anne page!
SHALLOW. It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder;			SHALLOW. It appears through its weapons. Keep it like that.
here comes Doctor Caius.			Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY	Peace and charity within,		Enter Host, Caius and Rugby
	Never touch't with deadly sin;
PAGE. Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.	I cast my holy water pure		PAGE. No, a good pastor, keep in your gun.
SHALLOW. So do you, good Master Doctor.	On this wall and on this door,		SHALLOW. So, good master doctor.
HOST. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep	That from evil shall defend,		HOST. Disconnect and let them ask; Let them keep them
their limbs whole and hack our English.	And keep you from the ugly fiend:		Your members completely and chop our English.
CAIUS. I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear.			Caius. I pray you, let me speak a word with your ear.
Verefore will you not meet-a me?	Shall approach or come this way;		Will you no longer meet?
EVANS. [Aside to CAIUS] Pray you use your patience; in			Evans. [Besides Caius] pray, you use your patience; in
good time.			good time.
CAIUS. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.			Caius. From cooked, you are de coward, de Jack Dog, John Ape.
EVANS. [Aside to CAIUS] Pray you, let us not be			Evans. [Besides Caius] pray, don't let us be
laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in			Laugh in the humor of other men; I wish you in
friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.			Friendship and I will repeat you in one way or another.
[Aloud] I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb			[Loud] I will fight your urinals over the cogscomb of your villain
for missing your meetings and appointments.			For the lack of your meetings and appointments.
CAIUS. Diable! Jack Rugby-mine Host de Jarteer-have I			Caius. Diable! Jack Rugby-Mine-Gastgeber De Jarteer-Have I.
not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did			Don't stay for him to kill him? I don't have, wherever I did
appoint?			appoint?
EVANS. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the			Evans. Now that I'm a Christian soul, look, that's the one
place appointed. I'll be judgment by mine host of the			Place appointed. I will be a judgment according to my host of
Garter.			Poor tape.
HOST. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,			HOST. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh.
soul-curer and body-curer.			Soul core and body core.
CAIUS. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!			Caius. Yes, dat is very good! Excellent!
HOST. Peace, I say. Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I			HOST. Peace, I say. Hear my host of the tights. I am
politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my			Politics? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Should I lose mine
doctor? No; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I			Physician? No; He gives me the potions and movements. Should I
lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me			Lose my pastor, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me
the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial;			The proverbs and the no verbs. Give me your hand, terrestrial;
so. Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have			So. Give me your hand, heavenly; So. Guys of art, I have
deceiv'd you both; I have directed you to wrong places;			They both deceived; I have addressed you to false places;
your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt			Your hearts are powerful, your skins are completely and let burn
sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow			Sack is the problem. Come on, put their swords into the deposit. consequences
me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.			I, boys of peace; Follow the following, follow.
SHALLOW. Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.			SHALLOW. Trust me, a crazy host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.
SLENDER. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!			SLIM. [Aside] O Sweet Anne page!
Exeunt all but CAIUS and EVANS			Leave all except Caius and Evans
CAIUS. Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us,			Caius. Ha, do I notice that? Do you have a SOT from us?
ha, ha?			Haha?
EVANS. This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I			Evans. It's good; He made us his vlouting stog. I
desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains			Wish you that we can be friends; and let our preams Krocken
together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging			Roach together to have scurvy on the same scale
companion, the host of the Garter.			Companion, the host of the tights.
CAIUS. By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me			Caius. From all, all my heart. He promises to bring me
where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.			Where is Anne Page; He also deceives me.
EVANS. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.			Evans. Well, I'll hit his nods. Pray, you follow.
Exeunt			Exit
SCENE 2.			Scene 2.
The street in Windsor			The street in Windsor
Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN			Enter mistress Page and Robin
MRS. PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were			MRS. PAGE. No, make your way, little gallant; You were
wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether			I will not be a trailer, but now you are a leader. If
had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?			Did you prefer to have my eyes or the eyes of the master?
ROBIN. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than			Robin. I preferred to go before you a man like a man than
follow him like a dwarf.			Follow him like a dwarf.
MRS. PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you'll be a			MRS. PAGE. Oh, you are a flattering boy; Now I see that you will be one
courtier.			Höfling.
Enter FORD			Enter Ford
FORD. Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?			FORD. Well hit, Mistress Page. Where are you going?
MRS. PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?			MRS. PAGE. Really, sir to see your wife. Is she at home?
FORD. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of			FORD. AY; and as idle as it can hang together, for a lack of
company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two			Company. I think if their husbands were dead, they are both
would marry.			would marry.
MRS. PAGE. Be sure of that-two other husbands.			MRS. PAGE. Make sure that two other husbands.
FORD. Where had you this pretty weathercock?			FORD. Where do you have this pretty weather unit?
MRS. PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my			MRS. PAGE. I can't say what the Dickens is his name is my name
husband had him of. What do you call your knight's			Husband had him from. What do you call your knight?
name, sirrah?			Name, Sirrah?
ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff.			ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff.
FORD. Sir John Falstaff!			FORD. Sir John Falstaff!
MRS. PAGE. He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such			MRS. PAGE. He, he; I can never meet the name of An. There are such
a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at			A league between my good husband and him! Is your wife at
home indeed?			Indeed at home?
FORD. Indeed she is.			FORD. In fact, she is.
MRS. PAGE. By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see her.			MRS. PAGE. Through your vacation, sir. I am sick until I see her.
Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN			Mrs. Page and Robin
FORD. Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any			FORD. Does page have a brain? Does he have any eyes? Has he all
thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why,			Think? Sure, they sleep; He has no use of them. Why,
this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon			This boy will wear a letter of 20 miles that is as simple as a cannon
will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's			Pointblank will shoot twelve points. He dives from his wife
inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage; and			Tilt; He gives her foolishness movement and its advantage; and
now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A			Now she goes to my wife and falstaffs boy with her. A
man may hear this show'r sing in the wind. And Falstaff's			The man can hear this show singing in the wind. And falstaffs
boy with her! Good plots! They are laid; and our revolted			Boy with her! Good actions! They are laid; and our revolts
wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him,			Wives share the damnation together. Spring; I'll take him
then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty			Then my wife tortured, picked the borrowed veil of modesty
from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself			Give
for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent			for a safe and intentional actaeon; and to these violent
proceedings			procedure
all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes]			All my neighbors will cry the goal. [Clock beats]
The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me			The watch gives me my keyword and my assurance offers me
search; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather			Seek; I will find Falstaff there. I will be more likely
prais'd			Prais'd
for this than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is			for that as mocked; Because it is as positive as the earth is
firm			Parties
that Falstaff is there. I will go.			This falstaff is there. I will go.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS,			Enter page, flat, slim, host, Sir Hugh Evans,
CAIUS, and RUGBY			Caius and rugby
SHALLOW, PAGE, &C. Well met, Master Ford.			Flach, page & c. Well hit, Master Ford.
FORD. Trust me, a good knot; I have good cheer at home,			FORD. Trust me, a good knot; I have a good cheers at home
and I pray you all go with me.			And I pray that you all go with me.
SHALLOW. I must excuse myself, Master Ford.			SHALLOW. I have to apologize, Master Ford.
SLENDER. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with			SLIM. And I have to, sir; We have appointed ourselves to eat
Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more			Mistress Anne, and I wouldn't break with her for more
money than I'll speak of.			Money when I will speak.
SHALLOW. We have linger'd about a match between Anne			SHALLOW. We have lingering between Anne about a match
Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have			Page and my cousin slim, and today we will have
our answer.			our answer.
SLENDER. I hope I have your good will, father Page.			SLIM. I hope I have your good will, father side.
PAGE. You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you. But			PAGE. You have masters slim; I stand entirely for you. but
my wife, Master Doctor, is for you altogether.			My wife, Master Doctor, is entirely for her.
CAIUS. Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a			Caius. Ay, W-Gar; And de maid is love-me; My Nurssh-A
Quickly tell me so mush.			Tell me so porridge quickly.
HOST. What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers,			HOST. What do you tell the young master Fenton? He capers,
he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks			He dances, he has eyes of the youth, he writes verses, he speaks
holiday, he smells April and May; he will carry 't, he will			Vacation, he smells April and May; He will wear, he will
carry 't; 'tis in his buttons; he will carry 't.			wear; t; 'It in his buttons; He will wear.
PAGE. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is			PAGE. Not through my approval, I promise you. The Lord is
of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and			Without have: he held a society with the wild prince and
Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No,			Lingen; He is too high, he knows too much. No,
he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of			He should not knit a knot in his fortune with his finger of knitting
my substance; if he take her, let him take her simply; the			My substance; If he takes her, just let him take it; the
wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes			Wealth that I am waiting for my consent and my consent goes
not that way.			not like that.
FORD. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me			FORD. I give you from the heart, some of you go home with me
to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will			For dinner: you should have sports next to your cheers; I will
show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall			Show yourself a monster. Master doctor, you should go; So should
you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.			You, master page; And she, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW. Well, fare you well; we shall have the freer			SHALLOW. Well, you are fine; We will have the freer
wooing at Master Page's. Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER			Um up on the master page. Exeunt flat and slim
CAIUS. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Exit RUGBY			Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Rugby abandon
HOST. Farewell, my hearts; I will to my honest knight			HOST. Farewell, my hearts; I become my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him. Exit HOST			Falstaff and Trinke canary with him. Host leave
FORD. [Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with			FORD. [Aside] I think I'll drink in tube wine first
him. I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?			him. I'll make him dance. Will you go, man?
ALL. Have with you to see this monster. Exeunt			EVERYONE. Have this monster with you to see this monster. Exeunt
SCENE 3.			Scene 3.
FORD'S house			Fords Haus
Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE			Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page
MRS. FORD. What, John! what, Robert!			FRAU. FORD. Was, John! Was, Robert!
MRS. PAGE. Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket-			MRS. PAGE. Fast fast! Is the huck basket
MRS. FORD. I warrant. What, Robin, I say!			MRS. FORD. I guarantee. What, Robin, I say!
Enter SERVANTS with a basket			Enter the servant with a basket
MRS. PAGE. Come, come, come.			MRS. PAGE. Come come come.
MRS. FORD. Here, set it down.			MRS. FORD. Here you put it down.
MRS. PAGE. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.			MRS. PAGE. Give your men the indictment; We have to be short.
MRS. FORD. Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be			MRS. FORD. Marriage, as I have already told you, be John and Robert
ready here hard by in the brew-house; and when I suddenly			Ready here hard by in the brewery; And when I suddenly
call you, come forth, and, without any pause or			Call them, come out and without a break or
staggering, take this basket on your shoulders. That done,			Astonish this basket on your shoulders. That done,
trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters			In a hurry with him and wear it under the Whitsters
in Datchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch			In Davet Met and there empty it in the muddy ditch
close by the Thames side.			close to the Thames.
Mrs. PAGE. You will do it?			Woman side. You will do it
MRS. FORD. I ha' told them over and over; they lack no			MRS. FORD. I have told you over and over again; They are missing no
direction. Be gone, and come when you are call'd.			Direction. Be gone and you come when you are called.
Exeunt SERVANTS			Leave servants
MRS. PAGE. Here comes little Robin.			MRS. PAGE. Here is little Robin.
Enter ROBIN			Enter Robin
MRS. FORD. How now, my eyas-musket, what news with			MRS. FORD. Like now, my Eyas musket, what news with
you?			From?
ROBIN. My Master Sir John is come in at your back-door,			Robin. My master Sir John came into her back door,
Mistress Ford, and requests your company.			Mistress Ford and calls for your company.
MRS. PAGE. You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?			MRS. PAGE. You little Jack-A-Lent, were you loyal to us?
ROBIN. Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your			Robin. Yes, I will be sworn in. My master doesn't know from you
being here, and hath threat'ned to put me into everlasting			To be here and be threatened to always make me forever
liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears he'll turn me			Freedom if I tell you about it; Because he swears, he will turn me
away.			A way.
MRS. PAGE. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall			MRS. PAGE. You're a good boy; This confidentiality of your target
be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and			Be a tailor to you and should make you a new duplet and
hose. I'll go hide me.			Hose. I will hide.
MRS. FORD. Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. [Exit			MRS. FORD. Do this. Tell your master that I am alone. [Exit
ROBIN] Mistress Page, remember you your cue.			Robin] Mistress Page, remember you, your keyword.
MRS. PAGE. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me.			MRS. PAGE. I guarantee you; If I don't do it, hiss me.
Exit MRS. PAGE			Leave a woman. PAGE
MRS. FORD. Go to, then; we'll use this unwholesome			MRS. FORD. Then go; We will use this mischief
humidity, this gross wat'ry pumpion; we'll teach him to			Air humidity, this rough pumpion; We will teach him
know turtles from jays.			You know turtles from Jays.
Enter FALSTAFF			Enter Falstaff
FALSTAFF. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?			Falstaff. Did I catch you my heavenly jewel?
Why, now let me die, for I have liv'd long enough; this is			Why, now let me die because I have lived long enough; This is
the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour!			The time of my ambition. O this blessed hour!
MRS. FORD. O sweet Sir John!			MRS. FORD. O sweet Sir John!
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate,			Falstaff. Mistress Ford, I can't handle, I can't prate
Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy			Mistress Ford. Now I should sin in my wish; I would your
husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I			Husband were dead; I will speak to the best gentleman, I
would make thee my lady.			Would make you my wife.
MRS. FORD. I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be a pitiful			MRS. FORD. I your wife, Sir John? Unfortunately I should be pitiful
lady.			Dame.
FALSTAFF. Let the court of France show me such another. I			Falstaff. Let me show the Court of France another. I
see how thine eye would emulate the diamond; thou hast			See how your eye would emulate the diamonds; You have
the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the			the right -wing beauty of the forehead, the one to the
ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian			Ship ulcer, the tire valiant or any mature Venetian
admittance.			Permit.
MRS. FORD. A plain kerchief, Sir John; my brows become			MRS. FORD. A simple Kerchief, Sir John; My brews
nothing else, nor that well neither.			Nothing else and neither so good nor good.
FALSTAFF. By the Lord, thou art a tyrant to say so; thou			Falstaff. From the Lord, you are a tyrant to say it; you
wouldst make an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of			Would an absolute court and the firm strength of
thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait in a			Your foot would give your walk in A an excellent movement
semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune			Half -circled farthingale. I see what you have if you are lucky
thy foe were, not Nature, thy friend. Come, thou canst not			Your enemy, not nature, your friend. Come on, you can't
hide it.			Hide it.
MRS. FORD. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.			MRS. FORD. Believe me, there is no such thing in me.
FALSTAFF. What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee			Falstaff. What made me love you? Let you persuade you
there's something extra-ordinary in thee. Come, I cannot			There is something extraordinary in you. Come on, I can't
cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these			Cog, and say you are and that, how many of it
lisping hawthorn-buds that come like women in men's			Lisping Hawthorn-Buds that come like women in men
apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple time; I			Clothing and smell after Bucklersbury in a simple time; I
cannot; but I love thee, none but thee; and thou deserv'st			can not; But I love you, only you; And you deserve it
it.			it is.
MRS. FORD. Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love Mistress			MRS. FORD. Don't tell me, sir; I'm afraid you love mistress
Page.			Book page.
FALSTAFF. Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the			Falstaff. You could also say I love going on the
Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a			Counter gate, which is just as hateful for me as the touch of A
lime-kiln.			Kalkofen.
MRS. FORD. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you			MRS. FORD. Well, the sky knows how I love you; And you
shall one day find it.			should find it one day.
FALSTAFF. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.			Falstaff. Stay in this head; I will earn it.
MRS. FORD. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could			MRS. FORD. No, I have to tell you, so you do it; Or otherwise I could
not be in that mind.			not be in this head.
ROBIN. [Within] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! here's			Robin. [Inside] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Here is
Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking			Mistress side on the door, sweat and blow and look
wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.			Wild, and should currently speak to you.
FALSTAFF. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind			Falstaff. She shouldn't see me; I will get behind it
the arras.			The Arras.
MRS. FORD. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling woman.			MRS. FORD. Pray, do it; She is a very tatting woman.
[FALSTAFF hides himself]			[Falstaff is hidden]
Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN			Visit the Mistress page again and Robin
What's the matter? How now!			What's happening? Like right now!
MRS. PAGE. O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're			MRS. PAGE. O Herrin Ford, what did you do? You are
sham'd, y'are overthrown, y'are undone for ever.			Sham'd, you fell, you have reversed forever.
MRS. FORD. What's the matter, good Mistress Page?			MRS. FORD. What's going on, good loved one?
MRS. PAGE. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an honest			MRS. PAGE. O well a day, Mistress Ford, an honest
man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!			Man to her husband to give him such cause of suspicion!
MRS. FORD. What cause of suspicion?			MRS. FORD. What is the cause of the suspicion?
MRS. PAGE. What cause of suspicion? Out upon you, how			MRS. PAGE. What is the cause of the suspicion? On you how
am I mistook in you!			I kept in you!
MRS. FORD. Why, alas, what's the matter?			MRS. FORD. Why, unfortunately, what's going on?
MRS. PAGE. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all			MRS. PAGE. Your husband comes here, woman, with everyone
the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that he			The officers in Windsor to look for a gentleman that he
says is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an			Says is now in the house, after their approval, to take one
ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.			I am an advantage of his absence. You are reversed.
MRS. FORD. 'Tis not so, I hope.			MRS. FORD. I hope I don't hope.
MRS. PAGE. Pray heaven it be not so that you have such a			MRS. PAGE. Praying sky, it's not that you have one of you
man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming,			Man here; But it is certainly certain that your husband is coming
with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I			With half a windsor on the heels to look for one. I
come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why,			Come before to tell you. If you know each other why, why, why,
I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey,			I'm happy about it; But if you have a friend here, you convey,
convey him out. Be not amaz'd; call all your senses to you;			convey it. Don't be amaz'd; Call all of your senses to you.
defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life			Defend your reputation or say goodbye to your good life
for ever.			forever.
MRS. FORD. What shall I do? There is a gentleman, my dear			MRS. FORD. What should I do? There is a gentleman, my dear
friend; and I fear not mine own shame as much as his peril.			Friend; And I'm not afraid of my own shame like his danger.
I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the			I preferred to have a thousand pounds, he was out of it
house.			Drink.
MRS. PAGE. For shame, never stand 'you had rather' and 'you			MRS. PAGE. For shame, never stand, "you prefer" and "you"
had rather'! Your husband's here at hand; bethink you of			I preferred '! Your husband is at hand here; Check out yourself from
some conveyance; in the house you cannot hide him. O,			some promotion; You can't hide it in the house. Ö,
how have you deceiv'd me! Look, here is a basket; if he be			How did you deceive me! Look here is a basket; If he is
of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw			He can crawl of any reasonable stature here; and throw
foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking, or-it is			Foul underwear on him as if it were going to bake or it is
whiting-time-send him by your two men to Datchet			Whiting-time sends him from their two men to Davet
Mead.			Of.
MRS. FORD. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?			MRS. FORD. He is too big to go in there. What should I do?
FALSTAFF. [Coming forward] Let me see 't, let me see 't. O,			Falstaff. [Occurs] let me see 't, let me see' t. Ö,
let me see 't! I'll in, I'll in; follow your friend's			Leave me! I'll get in, I'm getting in; Follow that of your friend
counsel;			Rat;
I'll in.			I get in.
MRS. PAGE. What, Sir John Falstaff! [Aside to FALSTAFF]			MRS. PAGE. What, Sir John Falstaff! [Apart from Falstaff]
Are these your letters, knight?			Are these your letters, knight?
FALSTAFF. [Aside to MRS. PAGE] I love thee and none but			Falstaff. [Apart from Mrs. Page] I love you and none except
thee; help me away.-Let me creep in here; I'll never-			you; Help me away.-Leave me in here; I will never
[Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen]			[Gets into the basket; They cover him with bad linen]
MRS. PAGE. Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men,			MRS. PAGE. Help treat your master, boy. Call your men
Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight!			Mistress for Ford. You are knight!
MRS. FORD. What, John! Robert! John! Exit ROBIN			MRS. FORD. What, John! Robert! John! End Robin
Re-enter SERVANTS			Enter the servant again
Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; where's the			Go, accept this clothing here quickly; where is that
cowl-staff? Look how you drumble. Carry them to the laundress			Engine Hood? See how you defy. Wear them for laundry
in Datchet Mead; quickly, come.			in Dave Met; Come on quickly.
Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS			Enter Ford, Page, Caius and Sir Hugh Evans
FORD. Pray you come near. If I suspect without cause, why			FORD. Pray, you get closer. If I suspect why
then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve			Then do sports with me, then let me be your joke; I deserve
it. How now, whither bear you this?			it. How do you wear that now?
SERVANT. To the laundress, forsooth.			SERVANT. To the clotherin, Zumooth.
MRS. FORD. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it?			MRS. FORD. Why, what do you have to do where you wear it?
You were best meddle with buck-washing.			They were best with fading.
FORD. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck!			FORD. Desire? I would wash myself from money!
Buck, buck, buck! ay, buck! I warrant you, buck; and of			Buck, buck, buck! Yes, buck! I guarantee you, buck; and from
the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt SERVANTS with			The season will also appear. [Exeunt servant with
basket] Gentlemen, I have dream'd to-night; I'll tell you my			Korb] gentlemen, I dreamed tonight; I'll tell you mine
dream. Here, here, here be my keys; ascend my chambers,			Dream. Here, here, here are my keys; Get up my chambers
search, seek, find out. I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox.			Search, search, find out. I will guarantee that we will be released the fox.
Let me stop this way first. [Locking the door] So, now			Let me stop at first. [Lock the door] So now, now
uncape.			unusual.
PAGE. Good Master Ford, be contented; you wrong yourself			PAGE. Good Master Ford, be satisfied; you false yourself
too much.			too much of.
FORD. True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen, you shall see sport			FORD. Right, Master page. Up, gentlemen, you should see sports
anon; follow me, gentlemen. Exit			Anon; Follow me, gentlemen. Exit
EVANS. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.			Evans. This is a fantastic humor and jealousy.
CAIUS. By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not jealous			Caius. From even, it is no fashion of France; It's not jealous
in France.			in France.
PAGE. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his			PAGE. No, follow him, gentlemen; See the edition of him
search. Exeunt EVANS, PAGE, and CAIUS			Seek. End Evans, Page and Caius
MRS. PAGE. Is there not a double excellency in this?			MRS. PAGE. Is there no double excellence?
MRS. FORD. I know not which pleases me better, that my			MRS. FORD. I don't know what I like better, that mine
husband is deceived, or Sir John.			Husband is deceived or Sir John.
MRS. PAGE. What a taking was he in when your husband			MRS. PAGE. What kind of income he was when her husband
ask'd who was in the basket!			Ask who was in the basket!
MRS. FORD. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so			MRS. FORD. I'm half afraid that he has to wash; So
throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.			Throwing him into the water will bring him a benefit.
MRS. PAGE. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the			MRS. PAGE. Hang him up, dishonest ruffle! I would all of the
same strain were in the same distress.			The same stress was in the same need.
MRS. FORD. I think my husband hath some special suspicion			MRS. FORD. I think my husband has a special suspicion
of Falstaff's being here, for I never saw him so gross in his			From Falstaff is here because I never saw him so disgusted in his
jealousy till now.			Jealousy so far.
MRS. PAGE. I Will lay a plot to try that, and we will yet have			MRS. PAGE. I'll put an action to try it and we'll still have
more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute disease will scarce			More tricks with Falstaff. His degenerate disease becomes scarce
obey this medicine.			Follow this medicine.
MRS. FORD. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress			MRS. FORD. Should we send this stupid AAS, mistress
Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water,			Quickly to him and apologize that he threw into the water,
and give him another hope, to betray him to another			and give him a different hope to betray him to another
punishment?			Punishment?
MRS. PAGE. We will do it; let him be sent for to-morrow			MRS. PAGE. We will do it; Let him be sent to the morning tomorrow
eight o'clock, to have amends.			Eight o'clock to revive.
Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS			Take back for Ford, Page, Caius and Sir Hugh Evans
FORD. I cannot find him; may be the knave bragg'd of that			FORD. I can not find him; Can the villain who be of it
he could not compass.			He couldn't become a compass.
MRS. PAGE. [Aside to MRS. FORD] Heard you that?			MRS. PAGE. [Apart from Mrs. Ford] Did that hear you?
MRS. FORD. You use me well, Master Ford, do you?			MRS. FORD. You use me well, Master Ford, right?
FORD. Ay, I do so.			Ford. Yes, I do.
MRS. FORD. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!			MRS. FORD. The sky makes you better than your thoughts!
FORD. Amen.			FORD. Amen.
MRS. PAGE. You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.			MRS. PAGE. They are doing a lot wrong, Master Ford.
FORD. Ay, ay; I must bear it.			Ford. Ay, is; I have to endure it.
EVANS. If there be any pody in the house, and in the			Evans. If there is a pody in the house and in the
chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven			Chambers and in the coffers and in the presses, heaven
forgive			pardon
my sins at the day of judgment!			My sins on the day of the court!
CAIUS. Be gar, nor I too; there is no bodies.			Caius. Be even me; There is no body.
PAGE. Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not asham'd? What			PAGE. Fie, Fie, Master Ford, are you not Asham'd? What
spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not ha'			Spirit, which devil suggests this imagination? I wouldn't have
your distemper in this kind for the wealth of Windsor			Your distemper in this kind for the wealth of windsor
Castle.			Lock.
FORD. 'Tis my fault, Master Page; I suffer for it.			FORD. It is my fault, Master page; I suffer for it.
EVANS. You suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is as			Evans. They suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is as
honest a omans as I will desires among five thousand, and			honestly an omans, as I wish under five thousand and
five			five
hundred too.			Hundred too.
CAIUS. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.			Caius. I see an honest woman from even.
FORD. Well, I promis'd you a dinner. Come, come, walk in			FORD. Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come, go in
the Park. I pray you pardon me; I will hereafter make			the park. I pray, you pardoned me; I will do the following
known to you why I have done this. Come, wife, come,			Knowing why I did that. Come on, woman, come,
Mistress Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartly,			Mistress side; I pray, you pardoned me; pray warm,
pardon me.			Excuse me.
PAGE. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him.			PAGE. Let's go in, gentlemen; But trust me, we will mock him.
I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast;			I invite you to breakfast tomorrow;
after, we'll a-birding together; I have a fine hawk for			Then we become a-birding together; I have a nice falcon for
the bush. Shall it be so?			the Bush. Should it be like this?
FORD. Any thing.			FORD. Something.
EVANS. If there is one, I shall make two in the company.			Evans. If there is one, I will do two in the company.
CAIUS. If there be one or two, I shall make-a the turd.			Caius. If there is one or two, I will do the fool.
FORD. Pray you go, Master Page.			FORD. Pray, you go, master page.
EVANS. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the			Evans. I'm pray now, remember that tomorrow
lousy knave, mine host.			Mieser villain, mine hosts.
CAIUS. Dat is good; by gar, with all my heart.			Caius. Dat is good; from all, all my heart.
EVANS. A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries!			Evans. A lousy villain to have his gibes and ridicule!
Exeunt			Exit
SCENE 4.			Scene 4.
Before PAGE'S house			Before Page's house
Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE			Enter Fenton and Anne Page
FENTON. I see I cannot get thy father's love;			Fenton. I see I can't get your father's love;
Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.			That's why I don't make me anymore, sweet nan.
ANNE. Alas, how then?			Anne. Unfortunately, how then?
FENTON. Why, thou must be thyself.			Fenton. Why, you have to be yourself.
He doth object I am too great of birth;			He is an object that I am too big to be born;
And that, my state being gall'd with my expense,			And that, my state was galzen with my cost,
I seek to heal it only by his wealth.			I only try to heal it through his wealth.
Besides these, other bars he lays before me,			He also puts other bars in front of me
My riots past, my wild societies;			My unrest passed, my wild societies;
And tells me 'tis a thing impossible			And tell me something impossible
I should love thee but as a property.			I should love you, but as property.
ANNE.. May be he tells you true.			Anne .. maybe he will tell you.
FENTON. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!			Fenton. No, the sky accelerates me to come in my time!
Albeit I will confess thy father's wealth			Although I will confess your father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne;			Was the first motive to convert you, Anne;
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value			But I found you worth more, I found you worth more
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;			As stamps in gold or sums in sealed bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself			And it is the wealth of yourself
That now I aim at.			I am now aiming.
ANNE. Gentle Master Fenton,			Anne. Gentle master fenton,
Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir.			But look for my father's love; Still looking for it, sir.
If opportunity and humblest suit			If the opportunity and the most modest suit
Cannot attain it, why then-hark you hither.			I can't achieve why you are here.
[They converse apart]			[They talk apart]
Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and MISTRESS QUICKLY			Enter flat, slim and lover quickly
SHALLOW. Break their talk, Mistress Quickly; my kinsman			SHALLOW. Break your conversation, Mistress Schnell; My relative
shall speak for himself.			should speak for yourself.
SLENDER. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on 't; 'slid, 'tis but			SLIM. I will make a wave or a bolt on 't; 'Slid' tis but
venturing.			daring.
SHALLOW. Be not dismay'd.			SHALLOW. Not be dismayed.
SLENDER. No, she shall not dismay me. I care not for that,			SLIM. No, she won't storm me. I'm not interested,
but that I am afeard.			But that I am a clue.
QUICKLY. Hark ye, Master Slender would speak a word			QUICKLY. Hark Ye, Master Slender would speak a word
with you.			with you.
ANNE. I come to him. [Aside] This is my father's choice.			Anne. I come to him. [Apart from] This is the choice of my father.
O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults			Oh, what a world of hideous bad mistakes
Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!			Looks good in three hundred pounds a year!
QUICKLY. And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a			QUICKLY. And how does the good champion Fenton go? Pray you, a
word with you.			Word with you.
SHALLOW. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a			SHALLOW. She comes; To her, Coz. O boy, you had a
father!			Father!
SLENDER. I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell			SLIM. I had a father, Mistress Anne; My uncle can say it
you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress Anne			She's good jokes from him. Pray you, uncle, say mistress Anne
the jest how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good			The joke, as my father stole two geese from a pen, was good
uncle.			Uncle.
SHALLOW. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.			SHALLOW. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
SLENDER. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in			SLIM. Yes I do; Just like I love every woman in
Gloucestershire.			Gloucestershire.
SHALLOW. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.			SHALLOW. He will maintain you like a gentle woman.
SLENDER. Ay, that I will come cut and longtail, under the			SLIM. Yes, that I under the cutting and longtail
degree of a squire.			Degree of an equire.
SHALLOW. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds			SHALLOW. He will make you hundred and fifty pounds
jointure.			together.
ANNE. Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.			Anne. Good master flat, let him rejoice for yourself.
SHALLOW. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that			SHALLOW. Marriage, thank you for that; Thank you for that
good comfort. She calls you, coz; I'll leave you.			Good comfort. She calls you, Coz; I will leave you.
ANNE. Now, Master Slender-			Anne. Well, master slim
SLENDER. Now, good Mistress Anne-			SLIM. Well, good loved ones
ANNE. What is your will?			Anne. What is your will?
SLENDER. My Will! 'Od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest			SLIM. My will! 'Ods heart surfaces, that's a pretty joke
indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not			as a matter of fact! I haven't done my will yet, I thank heaven; I'm not
such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.			Such a sick creature, I give heaven.
ANNE. I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?			Anne. I mean, master slim, what would you be with me?
SLENDER. Truly, for mine own part I would little or nothing			SLIM. Really, for my own part I would little or nothing
with you. Your father and my uncle hath made motions;			with you. Your father and my uncle have made movements;
if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They			When it is my luck; If not, lucky man is his dole! she
can tell you how things go better than I can. You may ask			Can tell you how things go better than me. You can ask
your father; here he comes.			your father; there he comes.
Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE			Enter page and mistress page
PAGE. Now, Master Slender! Love him, daughter Anne-			PAGE. Well, Master Slender! I love him, daughter
Why, how now, what does Master Fenton here?			Why, how now, what does Master Fenton do here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house.			You wrong me, sir, so still to follow to follow my house.
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.			I told you Sir, my daughter is overdraft facility.
FENTON. Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.			Fenton. No, Master page, is not impatient.
MRS. PAGE. Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.			MRS. PAGE. Good master Fenton, don't come to my child.
PAGE. She is no match for you.			PAGE. It doesn't suit you.
FENTON. Sir, will you hear me?			Fenton. Sir, will you hear me?
PAGE. No, good Master Fenton.			PAGE. No, good champion Fenton.
Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender; in.			Come, master flat; Come on, son slim; in.
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.			Know my mind, you wrong, master fenton.
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER			Exeunt side, flat and slim
QUICKLY. Speak to Mistress Page.			QUICKLY. Talk to the Mistress page.
FENTON. Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter			Fenton. Good mistress, I love your daughter for that
In such a righteous fashion as I do,			In the way I was as righteous
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,			Perforce, against all checks, vineyards and manners,
I must advance the colours of my love,			I have to drive the colors of my love
And not retire. Let me have your good will.			And not in retirement. Let me have your good will.
ANNE. Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.			Anne. Good mother, don't get married with Yond Narr.
MRS. PAGE. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.			MRS. PAGE. I don't mean; I am looking for you a better husband.
QUICKLY. That's my master, Master Doctor.			QUICKLY. This is my master, master doctor.
ANNE. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' th' earth.			Anne. Unfortunately I preferred to set the earth quickly.
And bowl'd to death with turnips.			And with beets to death.
MRS. PAGE. Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master			MRS. PAGE. Come on, don't trouble yourself. Good master
Fenton,			Fenton,
I will not be your friend, nor enemy;			I will neither be your friend nor enemy;
My daughter will I question how she loves you,			My daughter will ask how she loves you
And as I find her, so am I affected;			And as I find it, I am affected;
Till then, farewell, sir; she must needs go in;			Until then farewell, sir; She must need;
Her father will be angry.			Your father will be angry.
FENTON. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan.			Fenton. Farewell, gentle lover; Farewell, nan.
Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ANNE			Mrs. Page and Anne
QUICKLY. This is my doing now: 'Nay,' said I 'will you cast			QUICKLY. That makes my now: 'No', I said 'you want to throw
away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on			away your child on a fool and a doctor? look
Master Fenton.' This is my doing.			Master Fenton. 'This is my actions.
FENTON. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night			Fenton. I thank you; And I'll pray you once tonight
Give my sweet Nan this ring. There's for thy pains.			Give my sweet nan this ring. There is your pain.
QUICKLY. Now Heaven send thee good fortune! [Exit			QUICKLY. Now send you happiness! [Exit
FENTON] A kind heart he hath; a woman would run through			Fenton] a friendly heart he has; A woman would go through
fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my			Fire and water for such a friendly heart. But I would mine
master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had			Mistress had Mistress Anne; Or I would have had Slender
her; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton had her; I will			She; Or in reassurance I would have master Fenton; I will
do what I can for them all three, for so I have promis'd,			Do what I can do for all three because I have promised
and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for Master			And I will be as good as my word; But especially for the master
Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff			Fenton. Well, I have to have Sir John Falstaff from another concern
from my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!			From my two lovers. What kind of beast I am to loosen it!
Exit			Exit
SCENE 5.			Scene 5.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH			Enter Falstaff and Bardolph
FALSTAFF. Bardolph, I say!			Falstaff. Bardolph, I say!
BARDOLPH. Here, sir.			Bardol. Hier, Sir.
FALSTAFF. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in 't.			Falstaff. Go a quart sack to me; Give a toast in 't.
Exit BARDOLPH			Leave Bardolph
Have I liv'd to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of			I lived to be worn in a basket, like a wheelbarrow of
butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if			Butchers are thrown into the thames? Good, if
I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out			I will serve another trick, I will let my brain exhaust
and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift.			And butters and give them a dog for a New Year's gift.
The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse			The villains illuminated me with so little remorse into the river
as they would have drown'd a blind bitch's puppies, fifteen			How they had drowned the puppies of a blind slut
i' th' litter; and you may know by my size that I have			I 'the waste; And you may know through my size that I have
a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as			a kind of instruction in the downfall; When the floor was as deep as
hell I should down. I had been drown'd but that the shore			I should hell below. I was drowned, but that the coast
was shelvy and shallow-a death that I abhor; for the water			Was Shelvy and flat-a death that I loathe; for the water
swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when			swells a man; And what kind of thing I should have been
had been swell'd! I should have been a mountain of			Had been swollen! I should have been a mountain
mummy.			Mummy.
Re-enter BARDOLPH, with sack			Bardolph step back with sack
BARDOLPH. Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you			Bardolph. Here is a mistress, sir, to talk to you
FALSTAFF. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames			Falstaff. Come on, let me pour a sack into the Thames
water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallow'd			Water; Because my stomach is as cold as if I have swallowed
snowballs for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.			Snowballs for pills to cool the reins. Call them.
BARDOLPH. Come in, woman.			Bardolph. Come in, woman.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY			Fast the mistress quickly
QUICKLY. By your leave; I cry you mercy. Give your			QUICKLY. Through your vacation; I cry mercy. Give yours
worship good morrow.			Worship well.
FALSTAFF. Take away these chalices. Go, brew me a pottle			Falstaff. Take away these Klayicices. Go, brew me a spottle
of sack finely.			From sack fine.
BARDOLPH. With eggs, sir?			Bardolph. With eggs, sir?
FALSTAFF. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my			Falstaff. Simply from yourself; I won't be in my pulet sperm in mine
brewage. [Exit BARDOLPH] How now!			Brew. [Output bardolph] as now!
QUICKLY. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress			QUICKLY. Marriage, sir, I come from Mistress to your worship
Ford.			Ford.
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was			Falstaff. Mistress Ford! I had enough for Ford; I was
thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.			thrown into the Ford; I have my stomach full of Ford.
QUICKLY. Alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault!			QUICKLY. Unfortunately the good heart was, that was not your fault!
She does so take on with her men; they mistook their			She takes over this with her men; You have confused yours
erection.			Erection.
FALSTAFF. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's			Falstaff. I also mean to build on a stupid woman
promise.			promise.
QUICKLY. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn			QUICKLY. Well, she complains that it would long for it
your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning			Your heart to see it. Your husband goes this morning
a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her between			A-breme; She wishes again to come to her in between
eight and nine; I must carry her word quickly. She'll make			Eight and nine; I have to wear your word quickly. You will do
you amends, I warrant you.			They change, I guarantee them.
FALSTAFF. Well, I Will visit her. Tell her so; and bid her			Falstaff. Well, I'll visit her. Tell her; and offer them
think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty, and then			Think about what kind of man is. Let it look at his frailty, then
judge of my merit.			Judge after my earnings.
QUICKLY. I will tell her.			QUICKLY. I will tell her.
FALSTAFF. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?			Falstaff. Do this. Between nine and ten, do you say?
QUICKLY. Eight and nine, sir.			QUICKLY. Eight and nine, sir.
FALSTAFF. Well, be gone; I will not miss her.			Falstaff. Well, be gone; I won't miss her.
QUICKLY. Peace be with you, sir. Exit			QUICKLY. Peace be with you, sir. Exit
FALSTAFF. I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me			Falstaff. I am amazed, I don't hear from Meister Brook; He sent me
word to stay within. I like his money well. O, here he			To stay word. I like his money well. O, here he
comes.			comes.
Enter FORD disguised			Give Ford disguised
FORD. Bless you, sir!			FORD. Snail yourself, sir!
FALSTAFF. Now, Master Brook, you come to know what			Falstaff. Now, Master Brook, you will find out what
hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife?			Does it have over between me and Ford's wife?
FORD. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.			FORD. This is indeed my business Sir John.
FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her			Falstaff. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was with her
house the hour she appointed me.			House the hour she appointed me.
FORD. And sped you, sir?			FORD. And she records, sir?
FALSTAFF. Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook.			Falstaff. Very bad, master brook.
FORD. How so, sir; did she change her determination?			FORD. Like so, sir; Has she changed her determination?
FALSTAFF. No. Master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her			Falstaff. Master Brook; But the watchful Cornuto you
husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of			Husband, master Brook, lives in a continuous larum of
jealousy, comes me in the instant of our, encounter, after			Jealousy, comes to me at the moment of our encounter
we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and, as it were, spoke			We had hugged, kissed, protested and, so to speak, said
the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his			The prologue of our comedy; and a rabble from him on his heels
companions, thither provoked and instigated by his			Companion who provoked and instigated by him
distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's			Staupe and, to look for his home for his wife
love.			Love.
FORD. What, while you were there?			FORD. What while you were there?
FALSTAFF. While I was there.			Falstaff. While I was there.
FORD. And did he search for you, and could not find you?			FORD. And did he look for you and couldn't find you?
FALSTAFF. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes			Falstaff. You should hear. How lucky it would be, it comes, comes, comes
in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach;			On a Mistress page there is the intelligence of Fords approach;
and, in her invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they			And in her invention and Ford's wife distraction, she
convey'd me into a buck-basket.			Use me in a goat basket.
FORD. A buck-basket!			FORD. A humpkasket!
FALSTAFF. By the Lord, a buck-basket! Ramm'd me in with			Falstaff. From the Lord, a Buck-Corbet! Rammed me
foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy			Foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy
napkins, that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound			Napkins that, Master Brook, there was the most ranking connection
of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.			The malignant smell that has always insulted nostrils.
FORD. And how long lay you there?			FORD. And how long did you lay there?
FALSTAFF. Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have			Falstaff. No, you will hear Master Brook what I have
suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being			They suffer to bring this woman to evil for her well -being. being
thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his			So cramm into the basket, a few Fords villain, his
hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress to carry me in			Hinds, were caused by their lover to carry me in
the name of foul clothes to Datchet Lane; they took me on			The name of foul clothing in Daveet Lane; They accepted me
their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the			their shoulders; met the jealous villain of her master in the
door; who ask'd them once or twice what they had in their			Door; Who asked them once or twice what they had in theirs
basket. I quak'd for fear lest the lunatic knave would have			Basket. I quacked out of fear so that the amazing villain would not have
search'd it; but Fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold,			searched it; But fate, arrange he should be a rooster
held his hand. Well, on went he for a search, and away			Hold his hand. Well, he continued for a search and gone
went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master			I went for bad clothes. But mark the sequel, master
Brook-I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first,			Brook-i suffered the jokes of three years of death: First,
an intolerable fright to be detected with a jealous rotten			An unbearable fright
bell-wether; next, to be compass'd like a good bilbo in the			Bellwether; Next would be a good bilbo in the
circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and			Scope of a peck, grip on the point, heel to the head; and
then, to be stopp'd in, like a strong distillation, with			Then to be stopped like a strong distillation, with
stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease. Think of			Stinking clothes that were annoyed in her own fat. think of
that			the
-a man of my kidney. Think of that-that am as subject to			-A man of my kidney. Imagine that is exposed to
heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw. It			Heat like butter; A man with constant resolution and thawing. It
was a miracle to scape suffocation. And in the height of			Was a miracle to combine suffocation. And in the height of
this bath, when I was more than half-stew'd in grease, like			This bathroom when I was more than half in fat, how
a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd,			A Dutch court that is to be thrown into the Thames and cooled down,
glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that			Hot, in this climb, like a horseshoe shoe; Remember
-hissing hot. Think of that, Master Brook.			-If hot. Remember, Master Brook.
FORD. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you			FORD. In good sadness, sir, I'm sorry for me for sake
have suffer'd all this. My suit, then, is desperate;			I suffered all of this. So my suit is desperate;
you'll undertake her no more.			You will no longer take over them.
FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I			Falstaff. Master Brook, I will be thrown like me in Etna
have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her			I was in the Thames before I will leave it. she
husband is this morning gone a-birding; I have received from			Husband is A-Birding this morning; I got from
her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is			You another message of the meeting; 'Twixt eight and nine is
the hour, Master Brook.			The hour, Master Brook.
FORD. 'Tis past eight already, sir.			FORD. It is already eight o'clock, sir.
FALSTAFF. Is it? I Will then address me to my appointment.			Falstaff. Is it? I will then address my appointment.
Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall			Come to me to your comfortable free time and you should
know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned			knows how I accelerate; And the conclusion is crowned
with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall have her, Master			Enjoy them with that. Adieu. You should have them, master
Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. Exit			Bach; Master Brook, you should Ford. Exit
FORD. Hum! ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I sleep?			FORD. Buzz! Ha! Is that a vision? Is that a dream? Do I sleep?
Master Ford, awake; awake, Master Ford. There's a hole			Master Ford, awake; Wake, Master Ford. There is a hole
made in your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to be			Made in her best coat, Master Ford. That is to be
married; this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets! Well, I			married; To have this way of having linen and buck basket! Now, I
will			Will
proclaim myself what I am; I will now take the lecher; he			Probry me what I am; I will now take the Lecher; he
is at my house. He cannot scape me; 'tis impossible he			Is in my house. He cannot prevent me; It is impossible to
should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse nor into			should; He cannot sneak into a half -penny money exchange or in
a pepper box. But, lest the devil that guides him should aid			A pepper box. But so that the devil that leads him should help
him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I			Him, I will search impossible places. Even though I am
cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not make			Can't avoid, but to be what I wouldn't do
me tame. If I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb			I tame. If I have horns to drive you crazy, leave the saying
go with me-I'll be horn mad. Exit			Go with me-I will be crazy. Exit
ACT IV. SCENE I.			Act IV. Szene I.
Windsor. A street			Windsor. A street
Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM			Enter the Mistress Page, Mistress Schnell and William in
MRS. PAGE. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?			MRS. PAGE. Is he already at Master Ford, do you think?
QUICKLY. Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but truly			QUICKLY. Sure, he is with it; Or will currently be; but really
he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the			He is very brave that he can get into the penetration
water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.			Water. Mistress Ford wants you to suddenly come.
MRS. PAGE. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my			MRS. PAGE. I will be gradually with her; But I will bring mine
young man here to school. Look where his master comes;			Young man here to school. Look where his master is going;
tis a playing day, I see.			It's a match day, I see.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS			Enter Sir Hugh Evans
How now, Sir Hugh, no school to-day?			Like now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
EVANS. No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.			Evans. No; Master Slender is, let the boys play.
QUICKLY. Blessing of his heart!			QUICKLY. Blessing of his heart!
MRS. PAGE. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits			MRS. PAGE. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son benefits
nothing in the world at his book; I pray you ask him some			Nothing in the world in his book; I pray, you ask him some
questions in his accidence.			Questions in his incident.
EVANS. Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.			Evans. Come here, William; Hold your head up; Come.
MRS. PAGE. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your			MRS. PAGE. Come on, Sirrah; Hold your head up; Answer your
master; be not afraid.			Master; Have no fear.
EVANS. William, how many numbers is in nouns?			Evans. William, how many numbers are in nouns?
WILLIAM. Two.			WILHELM. Two.
QUICKLY. Truly, I thought there had been one number			QUICKLY. Really, I thought there had been a number
more, because they say 'Od's nouns.'			More because they say "ods nouns".
EVANS. Peace your tattlings. What is 'fair,' William?			Evans. Peace your tattels. What is 'fair', William?
WILLIAM. Pulcher.			Wilhelm. Nice.
QUICKLY. Polecats! There are fairer things than polecats,			QUICKLY. Polecats! There are more fairer things than polecats,
sure.			secure.
EVANS. You are a very simplicity oman; I pray you, peace.			Evans. They are a very simple Oman; I pray you peace.
What is 'lapis,' William?			What is 'Lapis', William?
WILLIAM. A stone.			WILHELM. Einstein.
EVANS. And what is 'a stone,' William?			Evans. And what is 'a stone', William?
WILLIAM. A pebble.			WILHELM. A pebble.
EVANS. No, it is 'lapis'; I pray you remember in your prain.			Evans. No, it's 'lapis'; I pray, you remember in your Pain.
WILLIAM. Lapis.			Wilhelm. Stein.
EVANS. That is a good William. What is he, William, that			Evans. This is a good William. What is he, William, that
does lend articles?			MASITION ARE INTERIATION INTERNATION?
WILLIAM. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be			WILHELM. Articles are borrowed from the pronoun and his
thus declined: Singulariter, nominativo; hic, haec, hoc.			So rejected, unique, nominative; That is here.
EVANS. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo,			Evans. Nominative, Hig, Hag, Hog; Bait you, land: Hyiant,
hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?			Hujus. What is your accusative?
WILLIAM. Accusativo, hinc.			Wilhelm. Accusative, here.
EVANS. I pray you, have your remembrance, child.			Evans. I pray you, have your memory, child.
Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.			Accusativo, Hung, Hang, Hog.
QUICKLY. 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.			QUICKLY. 'Hang-Hog' is Latin for bacon, I guarantee you.
EVANS. Leave your prabbles, oman. What is the focative			Evans. Leave your Probbles, Oman. What is the focus
case, William?			Fall, William?
WILLIAM. O-vocativo, O.			Wilhelm. Ovocative, O.
EVANS. Remember, William: focative is caret.			Evans. Remember, William: Focative is Caret.
QUICKLY. And that's a good root.			QUICKLY. And that's a good root.
EVANS. Oman, forbear.			Evans. Oman, Forbear.
MRS. PAGE. Peace.			MRS. PAGE. Peace.
EVANS. What is your genitive case plural, William?			Evans. What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM. Genitive case?			WILHELM. Genitive?
EVANS. Ay.			Evans. Ay.
WILLIAM. Genitive: horum, harum, horum.			Wilhelm. Genitive: Which of them, this.
QUICKLY. Vengeance of Jenny's case; fie on her! Never			QUICKLY. Revenge of Jenny's case; Fie on you! Never
name her, child, if she be a whore.			Name them, child if they are a whore.
EVANS. For shame, oman.			Evans. For shame, Oman.
QUICKLY. YOU do ill to teach the child such words. He			QUICKLY. They require such words to the child. He
teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast			Teaching him to Hick and hacking what they will do quickly
enough of themselves; and to call 'horum'; fie upon you!			Enough of yourself; and to name "Horum"; Fie on you!
EVANS. Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings			Evans. Oman, art you lunatics? Do you have no understanding
for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou			For your cases and the number of sexes? You
art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.			Art as a stupid Christian creatures, as I would wish.
MRS. PAGE. Prithee hold thy peace.			MRS. PAGE. Prithee keep your peace.
EVANS. Show me now, William, some declensions of your			Evans. Now show me William, some declinations from you
pronouns.			Pronoun.
WILLIAM. Forsooth, I have forgot.			WILHELM. Ahead, I forgot.
EVANS. It is qui, quae, quod; if you forget your qui's, your			Evans. It is qui, quae, quod; If you forget your qui, yours
quae's, and your quod's, you must be preeches. Go your			Quae and their quods, they have to be predecessors. Go yours
ways and play; go.			Paths and games; walk.
MRS. PAGE. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.			MRS. PAGE. He is a better scholar than I thought.
EVANS. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.			Evans. He is a good language memory. Farewell, mistress Page.
MRS. PAGE. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Exit SIR HUGH			MRS. PAGE. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Leave Sir Hugh
Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. Exeunt			Take your home, boy. Come on, we stay too long. Exeunt
SCENE 2.			Scene 2.
FORD'S house			Fords Haus
Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD			Enter Falstaff and Mistress for Ford
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my			Falstaff. Mistress Ford, your grief has eaten mine
sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I			Toleration. I see you are below average in your love and me
profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, Mistress			Confess the width of a hair; Not only, mistress
Ford, in			Ford, in
the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement,			The simple office of love, but in all the equipment,
complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your			Supplement and ceremony. But they are sure of them
husband now?			Husband now?
MRS. FORD. He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.			MRS. FORD. He is A-BIRDING, sweet Sir John.
MRS. PAGE. [Within] What hoa, gossip Ford, what hoa!			MRS. PAGE. [In] what Hoa, gossip, what Hoa!
MRS. FORD. Step into th' chamber, Sir John. Exit FALSTAFF			MRS. FORD. Enter the chamber, Sir John. Falstaff end
Enter MISTRESS PAGE			Enter the Mistress page
MRS. PAGE. How now, sweetheart, who's at home besides			MRS. PAGE. Like now, honey, who is also at home
yourself?			yourself?
MRS. FORD. Why, none but mine own people.			MRS. FORD. Why, none other than my own people.
MRS. PAGE. Indeed?			MRS. PAGE. As a matter of fact?
MRS. FORD. No, certainly. [Aside to her] Speak louder.			MRS. FORD. No, sure. [Next to her] speak louder.
MRS. PAGE. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.			MRS. PAGE. Really, I'm so glad that you don't have anyone here.
MRS. FORD. Why?			MRS. FORD. Why?
MRS. PAGE. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes			MRS. PAGE. Why, wife, your husband is in his old lunes
again. He so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails			again. He takes on my husband about it; So rails
against all married mankind; so curses an Eve's daughters,			Against all married humanity; So curs the daughters of an Eva,
of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the			from which complexion always; And so on the
forehead, crying 'Peer-out, peer-out!' that any madness I			Forehead, crying 'peer-out, peer-out!' that everyone is amazing
ever yet beheld seem'd but tameness, civility, and patience,			Still only toughness, courtesy and patience seemed to be
to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat knight			He is now in his distemper. I am glad that the fat knight is happy
is not here.			is not here.
MRS. FORD. Why, does he talk of him?			MRS. FORD. Why does he speak of him?
MRS. PAGE. Of none but him; and swears he was carried out,			MRS. PAGE. Of no one except him; and swears that it was carried out
the last time he search'd for him, in a basket; protests to			The last time he was looking for him in a basket; Protest
my husband he is now here; and hath drawn him and the			My husband is here now; and has drawn him and the
rest of their company from their sport, to make another			The rest of your company from your sport to do another
experiment of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not			Experiment of his suspicion. But I'm glad that the knight is not
here; now he shall see his own foolery.			here; Now he will see his own stupidity.
MRS. FORD. How near is he, Mistress Page?			MRS. FORD. How close is he, Mistress Page?
MRS. PAGE. Hard by, at street end; he will be here anon.			MRS. PAGE. Hard by, at the street end; He will be anon here.
MRS. FORD. I am undone: the knight is here.			MRS. FORD. I reversed: the knight is here.
MRS. PAGE. Why, then, you are utterly sham'd, and he's but			MRS. PAGE. Then why are you absolutely ashamed and he is just
a dead man. What a woman are you! Away with him,			A dead man. What a woman you are! With him away
away with him; better shame than murder.			away with him; Better shame than murder.
MRS. FORD. Which way should he go? How should I bestow			MRS. FORD. Which way should he go? How should I give
him? Shall I put him into the basket again?			him? Should I put it back in the basket?
Re-enter FALSTAFF			Redeen back in Falstaff
FALSTAFF. No, I'll come no more i' th' basket. May I not go			Falstaff. No, I won't come anymore. May I not go
out ere he come?			out before he comes?
MRS. PAGE. Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the			MRS. PAGE. Unfortunately, three from Master Ford's brothers watch that
door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you			Door with pistols that nobody should exhibit; otherwise you
might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?			Could slip away before he came. But what does you do here?
FALSTAFF. What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.			Falstaff. What should I do? I will sneak into the chimney.
MRS. FORD. There they always use to discharge their			MRS. FORD. They always use there to unload their
birding-pieces.			Bird pieces.
MRS. PAGE. Creep into the kiln-hole.			MRS. PAGE. Creep into the oven hole.
FALSTAFF. Where is it?			Falstaff. Where is it?
MRS. FORD. He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,			MRS. FORD. He will search for my word there. Neither press,
coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract			Case, chest, suitcase, good, vault, but he has a summary
for			to the
the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his			the memory of such places and goes to them from him
note. There is no hiding you in the house.			A notice. There is no hiding place in the house.
FALSTAFF. I'll go out then.			Falstaff. I'll go out then.
MRS. PAGE. If you go out in your own semblance, you die,			MRS. PAGE. If you appear in your own appearance, you die.
Sir John. Unless you go out disguis'd.			Sir John. Unless they go disguised.
MRS. FORD. How might we disguise him?			MRS. FORD. How can we veil it?
MRS. PAGE. Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's			MRS. PAGE. Unfortunately I do not know! There is no woman
gown big enough for him; otherwise he might put on a			Dress big enough for him; Otherwise he could put on one
hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.			Hat, a silencer and a kerchuch and escape.
FALSTAFF. Good hearts, devise something; any extremity			Falstaff. Good hearts, something develop; every extremity
rather than a mischief.			Rather than a mischief.
MRS. FORD. My Maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brainford, has			MRS. FORD. The aunt of my maid, the fat woman of Brainford, has
a gown above.			A dress above.
MRS. PAGE. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he			MRS. PAGE. It will serve him on my word; She is as big as he is
is; and there's her thrumm'd hat, and her muffler too. Run			is; And there is her hat and silencer too. To run
up, Sir John.			Up, Sir John.
MRS. FORD. Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page and I will			MRS. FORD. Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page and I will
look some linen for your head.			Look a little linen for your head.
MRS. PAGE. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight. Put			MRS. PAGE. Fast fast; We'll just put on you. Place
on the gown the while. Exit FALSTAFF			On the dress the while. Falstaff end
MRS. FORD. I would my husband would meet him in this			MRS. FORD. I would, my husband would meet him
shape; he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford; he			Shape; He cannot adhere to the old woman of Brainford; he
swears she's a witch, forbade her my house, and hath			swears that she is a witch, forbids her house and has
threat'ned to beat her.			Threatening to beat them.
MRS. PAGE. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and			MRS. PAGE. The sky leads him to the husband's cudgel; and
the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!			The devil then leads his cudgel!
MRS. FORD. But is my husband coming?			MRS. FORD. But is my husband coming?
MRS. PAGE. Ay, in good sadness is he; and talks of the basket			MRS. PAGE. Yes, he is in good sadness; and conversations from the basket
too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.			As always he had intelligence.
MRS. FORD. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry			MRS. FORD. We will try that; Because I will appoint my men to wear
the basket again, to meet him at the door with it as they			The basket again to meet it at the door as you
did last time.			did the last time.
MRS. PAGE. Nay, but he'll be here presently; let's go dress			MRS. PAGE. No, but he will be here at the moment; Let's get dressed
him like the witch of Brainford.			he like the witch from Brainford.
MRS. FORD. I'll first direct my men what they shall do with			MRS. FORD. I will first guide my men what they will do
the basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight. Exit			the basket. Go up; I will clarify linen for him. Exit
MRS. PAGE. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse			MRS. PAGE. Hang him up, dishonestly varetted! We can't abuse
him enough.			he enough.
We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,			We will leave proof of what we will do
Wives may be merry and yet honest too.			Women can be happy and yet honest.
We do not act that often jest and laugh;			We don't act so often that we joke and laugh;
Tis old but true: Still swine eats all the draff. Exit			It is old, but true: Swine still eats drag. Exit
Re-enter MISTRESS FORD, with two SERVANTS			Visit the Mistress Ford with two servants
MRS. FORD. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders;			MRS. FORD. Go, sirs, take the basket back on your shoulders.
your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey			Your master is hard on the door; If he prompted you, follow it
him; quickly, dispatch. Exit			him; Fast, shipping. Exit
FIRST SERVANT. Come, come, take it up.			First servant. Come on, take it.
SECOND SERVANT. Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.			Second servant. Praying sky, it is not full of knights again.
FIRST SERVANT. I hope not; I had lief as bear so much lead.			First servant. I hope not; I had ran as a bear.
Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS			Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius and Sir Hugh Evans
FORD. Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any			FORD. Ay, but if it turns out to be true, you have a master page
way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket, villain!			Way then to ignite me again? Set the basket down, villain!
Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket! O you panderly			Someone calls my wife. Youth in a basket! O du panderly
rascals, there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy			Schlingel, there is a knot, one, a pack, a conspiracy
against me. Now shall the devil be sham'd. What, wife, I			against me. Now the devil should be watched. What, woman, me
say! Come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you			to say! Come out, come out; See what kind of honest clothes you
send forth to bleaching.			Send to bleach.
PAGE. Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go loose			PAGE. Why, that passes, Master Ford; You shouldn't loosen yourself
any longer; you must be pinion'd.			longer; You have to be sprockets.
EVANS. Why, this is lunatics. This is mad as a mad dog.			Evans. This is lunatics. This is crazy as a crazy dog.
SHALLOW. Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.			SHALLOW. In fact, Master Ford, this is indeed not good.
FORD. So say I too, sir.			FORD. So I also say, sir.
Re-enter MISTRESS FORD			Enter Mistress Ford again
Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford, the honest			Come here, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford, the honest
woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath			Woman, the humble woman, the virtuous creature, that has
the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect without cause,			The jealous fool of her husband! I suspect without reason
Mistress, do I?			Mistress, right?
MRS. FORD. Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect			MRS. FORD. The sky is my witness, you do if you have suspected
me in any dishonesty.			I in every dishonesty.
FORD. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out. Come forth, sirrah.			FORD. Well said, the threeth face; Stop it. Come out, Sirrah.
[Pulling clothes out of the basket]			[Pull clothes out of the basket]
PAGE. This passes!			PAGE. That passes!
MRS. FORD. Are you not asham'd? Let the clothes alone.			MRS. FORD. Are you not Asham'd? Leave the clothes alone.
FORD. I shall find you anon.			FORD. I will find you anon.
EVANS. 'Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your wife's			Evans. It is unreasonable. Will you take up your wife?
clothes? Come away.			Dress? Come away.
FORD. Empty the basket, I say.			FORD. Empty the basket, I say.
MRS. FORD. Why, man, why?			MRS. FORD. Why, man, why?
FORD. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one convey'd			FORD. Master page, as I am a man, was conveyed one that was mediated
out of my house yesterday in this basket. Why may not			Yesterday from my house in this basket. Why can't it be
he be there again? In my house I am sure he is; my			He is back? In my house I am sure that he is; my
intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.			Intelligence is true; My jealousy is reasonable.
Pluck me out all the linen.			I twitched the whole linen.
MRS. FORD. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's			MRS. FORD. If you find a man there, he will die a flea
death.			Tod.
PAGE. Here's no man.			PAGE. There is no man here.
SHALLOW. By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this			SHALLOW. Due to my loyalty, this is not good, Master Ford; This
wrongs you.			Wrong you.
EVANS. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the			Evans. Master Ford, you have to pray and not to follow
imaginations of your own heart; this is jealousies.			Fantasy of your own heart; This is jealousy.
FORD. Well, he's not here I seek for.			FORD. Well, he's not here I am looking for.
PAGE. No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.			PAGE. No, nowhere else than in your brain.
FORD. Help to search my house this one time. If I find not			FORD. Help search my house once. If I don't find
what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let me for			What I am looking for show no color for my extremity; Leave me for
ever be your table sport; let them say of me 'As jealous as			Be ever your table sport; Let me say, 'as jealous as
Ford, that search'd a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.'			Ford, who was looking for a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. '
Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.			Bang me again; Find again with me.
MRS. FORD. What, hoa, Mistress Page! Come you and the old			MRS. FORD. What, Hoa, Mistress Page! You come and the old one
woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.			Woman down; My husband will come into the chamber.
FORD. Old woman? what old woman's that?			FORD. Old woman? What old woman is that?
MRS. FORD. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brainford.			MRS. FORD. Why, it's the aunt of Brainford my maid.
FORD. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not			FORD. A witch, a quean, an old, cozy quean! I don't have
forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We			Do you ban my house? She comes from errands, right? we
are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass			are simple men; We don't know what is brought to the offense
under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by			under the profession of happiness. She works over
charms, by spells, by th' figure, and such daub'ry as this			Charms, for magic sayings, after the figure and as well as this as this
is, beyond our element. We know nothing. Come down, you			Is, beyond our element. We don't know anything. Come down, you
witch, you hag you; come down, I say.			Witch, you haunted; Come down, I say.
MRS. FORD. Nay, good sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let			MRS. FORD. No, good sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let
him not strike the old woman.			He doesn't beat the old woman.
Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE			Visit Falstaff in women's clothes and mistress Page
MRS. PAGE. Come, Mother Prat; come. give me your hand.			MRS. PAGE. Come on, mother prat; Come. give me your hand.
FORD. I'll prat her. [Beating him] Out of my door, you			FORD. I will press her. [Beats him] from my door, you
witch, you hag, you. baggage, you polecat, you ronyon!			Hexe, you haggy, you. Luggage, she polecat, you ronyon!
Out, out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you.			Out! I will conjure up you, I'll draw you luck.
Exit FALSTAFF			Falstaff end
MRS. PAGE. Are you not asham'd? I think you have kill'd the			MRS. PAGE. Are you not Asham'd? I think you killed them
poor woman.			poor woman.
MRS. FORD. Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.			MRS. FORD. No, he will do it. It is a good recognition for you.
FORD. Hang her, witch!			FORD. Hang them, witch!
EVANS. By yea and no, I think the oman is a witch indeed; I			Evans. With yes and no, I think the Oman is indeed a witch; I
like not when a oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard			Like not when an Oman has a big permch; I spy a great pearl
under his muffler.			Under his silencer.
FORD. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow;			FORD. Will you follow, gentlemen? I give you, you follow;
see but the issue of my jealousy; if I cry out thus upon no			But see the problem of my jealousy; When I scream on no
trail, never trust me when I open again.			Trail, never trust me when I open myself up again.
PAGE. Let's obey his humour a little further. Come,			PAGE. Let us obey his humor a little. Come,
gentlemen. Exeunt all but MRS. FORD and MRS. PAGE			Men's. Exeunt everyone except women. Ford and woman. PAGE
MRS. PAGE. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.			MRS. PAGE. Trust me, he has hit it most pathetic.
MRS. FORD. Nay, by th' mass, that he did not; he beat him			MRS. FORD. No, through the mass that he didn't do it; He hit him
most unpitifully methought.			Most motivated.
MRS. PAGE. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd and hung o'er the			MRS. PAGE. I will let the cudgel heal and hang over that
altar; it hath done meritorious service.			Altar; It has done meritorious service.
MRS. FORD. What think you? May we, with the warrant of			MRS. FORD. What do you think? We like with the warrant of
womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, pursue			Femininity and witness of a clear conscience, follow
him with any further revenge?			he with further revenge?
MRS. PAGE. The spirit of wantonness is sure scar'd out of			MRS. PAGE. The spirit of the effort is safe
him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and			him; If the devil does not have it into a fee, with fine and
recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste,			General, he never becomes in relation to waste, I think, never.
attempt us again.			Try again.
MRS. FORD. Shall we tell our husbands how we have serv'd			MRS. FORD. Should we tell our husbands how we have served
him?			him?
MRS. PAGE. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the			MRS. PAGE. Yes, in any case; If only it is to scratch that
figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in			Figures from her husband's brain. If you can find in
their			her
hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further			Hearts of the poor, unvirtude fat knights should continue
afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.			We two will still be the ministers.
MRS. FORD. I'll warrant they'll have him publicly sham'd;			MRS. FORD. I will guarantee that he will look at him publicly.
and methinks there would be no period to the jest, should			And I wouldn't give it a period for the joke should
he not be publicly sham'd.			He was not publicly looked at.
MRS. PAGE. Come, to the forge with it then; shape it. I			MRS. PAGE. Then come to the smithy; Form it. I
would not have things cool. Exeunt			Wouldn't have cool. Exeunt
SCENE 3.			Scene 3.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter HOST and BARDOLPH			Enter Host and Bardolph
BARDOLPH. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your			Bardolph. Sir, the Germans want three of them
horses; the Duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and			Horses; The duke itself will be in court tomorrow, and
they are going to meet him.			You will meet him.
HOST. What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear			HOST. Which duke should be so secret? I hear
not of him in the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen;			not from him in court. Let me speak to the gentlemen;
they speak English?			You speak English?
BARDOLPH. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.			Bardolph. Yes, sir; I'll call you to you.
HOST. They shall have my horses, but I'll make them pay;			HOST. You will have my horses, but I'll have them paid for;
I'll sauce them; they have had my house a week at			I become a sauce; You have my house for a week
command; I have turn'd away my other guests. They must			Command; I brought my other guests away. You need to
come off; I'll sauce them. Come. Exeunt			go out; I'll be a sauce. Come. Exeunt
SCENE 4			Scene 4
FORD'S house			Fords Haus
Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH			Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Sir Hugh
EVANS			Evans
EVANS. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a oman as ever			Evans. It is one of the best discretions of an Oman than ever before
did look upon.			watched.
PAGE. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?			PAGE. And did he send you these two letters at the same time?
MRS. PAGE. Within a quarter of an hour.			MRS. PAGE. Within a quarter of an hour.
FORD. Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou wilt;			FORD. Forgive me, woman. So do what you want;
I rather will suspect the sun with cold			I would rather suspect the sun with cold
Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honour stand,			Than you will. Now is your honorary status
In him that was of late an heretic,			In it it was a heretic recently,
As firm as faith.			As firm as faith.
PAGE. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.			PAGE. It's good, it's good; no longer.
Be not as extreme in submission as in offence;			Don't be so extreme on the offensive;
But let our plot go forward. Let our wives			But let our plot go forward. Leave our women
Yet once again, to make us public sport,			But again to make us publicly exercise,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,			Appointment of a meeting with this old fat guy,
Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.			Where we can take it and switch it for it.
FORD. There is no better way than that they spoke of.			FORD. There is no better way than that you have spoken of.
PAGE. How? To send him word they'll meet him in the Park			PAGE. As? To send him the message, you will meet him in the park
at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come!			at midnight? Fie, fie! He will never come!
EVANS. You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and has			Evans. They say he was thrown into the rivers; and has
been grievously peaten as an old oman; methinks there			was heavily carved as old Oman; I think there
should be terrors in him, that he should not come;			Should be terror in him that he shouldn't come;
methinks his flesh is punish'd; he shall have no desires.			I could punish his meat; He will have no wish.
PAGE. So think I too.			PAGE. So I think too.
MRS. FORD. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,			MRS. FORD. Develop, but how you will use it when he comes
And let us two devise to bring him thither.			And let us create two to bring it there.
MRS. PAGE. There is an old tale goes that Heme the Hunter,			MRS. PAGE. There is an old story that the hunter hem,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,			At some point a goalkeeper here in Windsor Forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,			All winter time at midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;			Go around an oak with great horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,			And there he breaks the tree and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain			And makes milk-kine blood and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner.			In terrible and terrible way.
You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know			You have heard of such a spirit, and now you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld			The superstitious idle Eld
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,			Received and delivered our age,
This tale of Heme the Hunter for a truth.			This story by Heme the Hunter for a truth.
PAGE. Why yet there want not many that do fear			PAGE. Why don't many want to be afraid there
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak.			At night to walk past the oak of these hangers.
But what of this?			But what about it?
MRS. FORD. Marry, this is our device-			MRS. FORD. Marriage, that's our device.
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,			This falstaff in this oak will meet with us,
Disguis'd, like Heme, with huge horns on his head.			Disuis was like Heme with huge horns on his head.
PAGE. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,			PAGE. Well, don't let it doubt, but he will come
And in this shape. When you have brought him thither,			And in this form. If you have brought him there
What shall be done with him? What is your plot?			What should be done with him? What is your conspiracy?
MRS. PAGE. That likewise have we thought upon, and			MRS. PAGE. We also thought about that, and
thus:			hence:
Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,			Nan side my daughter and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress			And three or four more of their growth we will dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,			Like Ururchine, Omphes and Fairies, Green and White,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,			With rounds of waxes, rejuvenates on the heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,			And rattles in their hands; On a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,			As falstaff, you and I are again met,
Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once			Let them go straight away from an intake
With some diffused song; upon their sight			With a diffuse song; at your look
We two in great amazedness will fly.			We two in large amazes will fly.
Then let them all encircle him about,			Then let them all circle,
And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;			And fairy -like to pinch the impure knight;
And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,			And ask him why, this hour of the Fee Revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread			He dares to step on their so holy paths
In shape profane.			In profane form.
MRS. FORD. And till he tell the truth,			MRS. FORD. And until he says the truth
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,			Let him pinch the alleged fairies, sound,
And burn him with their tapers.			And burn it with their rejuvenations.
MRS. PAGE. The truth being known,			MRS. PAGE. The truth is known
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,			We will all present ourselves; Dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.			And mock him home to Windsor.
FORD. The children must			FORD. The children have to
Be practis'd well to this or they'll nev'r do 't.			Be well practiced or you won't do it.
EVANS. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will			Evans. I will teach the children their behavior; and I will
be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my			Be like a jack-am-apes to burn the knight with mine
taber.			TABER.
FORD. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.			FORD. This is awarded. I will buy vizards.
MRS. PAGE. My Nan shall be the Queen of all the Fairies,			MRS. PAGE. My nan will be the queen of all fairies
Finely attired in a robe of white.			Finely dressed in a robe of white.
PAGE. That silk will I go buy. [Aside] And in that time			PAGE. I will buy this silk. [Aside] and during this time
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,			Should slim to steal my nan away,
And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff straight.			And marry them at Eton.-Go, send them to Falstaff.
FORD. Nay, I'll to him again, in name of Brook;			FORD. No, I'll be back in the name of Brook;
He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.			He will tell me his whole purpose. Sure, he will come.
MRS. PAGE. Fear not you that. Go get us properties			MRS. PAGE. Don't be afraid. Go and get us properties
And tricking for our fairies.			And tricking for our fairies.
EVANS. Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures, and fery			Evans. Let's go over it. They are admirable joys and holidays
honest knaveries. Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS			Honest damage. Page, Ford and Evans end
MRS. PAGE. Go, Mistress Ford.			MRS. PAGE. Geh, Mistress Ford.
Send Quickly to Sir John to know his mind.			Send Sir John Schnell to know his thoughts.
Exit MRS. FORD			Leave a woman. FORD
I'll to the Doctor; he hath my good will,			I become a doctor; He has my good will
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.			And nobody except him to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;			This slim, although well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects.			And he's best of all effects.
The Doctor is well money'd, and his friends			The doctor is good money and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,			Effective at the court; He, nobody except him, will have them,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. Exit			Although twenty thousand more of the word to long to long. Exit
SCENE 5.			Scene 5.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter HOST and SIMPLE			Give host and just one
HOST. What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thick-skin?			HOST. What would you have, BOOR? What, thick skin?
Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.			Speak, breathe, discuss; In short, short, fast, snap.
SIMPLE. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff			EASY. Marriage, Sir, I come to speak to Sir John Falstaff
from Master Slender.			Slim from the master.
HOST. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his			HOST. There is his chamber, his house, his castle, his
standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the			Stand bed and truckle bed; 'It was painted around
story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go, knock and can;			History of the lost, fresh and new. Go, knock and ability;
he'll			hell
speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee. Knock, I say.			Talk to you like an anthropophagine. Pound, I say.
SIMPLE. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into			EASY. There is an old woman, a big woman in the
his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come			his chamber; I will be as brave as it is, sir until she comes
down;			Low;
I come to speak with her, indeed.			I indeed come with her.
HOST. Ha! a fat woman? The knight may be robb'd. I'll call.			HOST. Ha! A big woman? The knight can be Robb'd. I will call.
Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Speak from thy lungs			Bully Knight! Moby Sir John! Speak out of your lungs
military. Art thou there? It is thine host, thine Ephesian,			Military. Art you there? It is your host, your Ephessian,
calls.			Calls.
FALSTAFF. [Above] How now, mine host?			Falstaff. [Above] How now, my host?
HOST. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of			HOST. Here is a Bohemian tartar
thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her descend;			Your fat woman. Let them descend, harass them, let them descend;
my chambers are honourible. Fie, privacy, fie!			My chambers are honest. Fie, privacy, fie!
Enter FALSTAFF			Enter Falstaff
FALSTAFF. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even			Falstaff. There was even an old fat woman an old fat woman
now with, me; but she's gone.			now with, me; But she's gone.
SIMPLE. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of			EASY. Pray, sir, was not the wise woman of
Brainford?			Brainford?
FALSTAFF. Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell. What would you			Falstaff. Yes, it was married, mussel shell. What would you
with her?			with her?
SIMPLE. My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her,			EASY. My master, sir, my master slim, cleverly to her,
seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one			To see them thoroughly on the streets to know, sir, whether one
Nym, sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain or no.			Nym, Sir, who seduced him from a chain, had the chain or no.
FALSTAFF. I spake with the old woman about it.			Falstaff. I talked to the old woman about it.
SIMPLE. And what says she, I pray, sir?			EASY. And what does she say, I pray, sir?
FALSTAFF Marry, she says that the very same man that			Falstaff Marry, she says that the same man
beguil'd Master Slender of his chain cozen'd him of it.			He was the masterful master of his chain.
SIMPLE. I would I could have spoken with the woman			EASY. I could have talked to the woman
herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too,			Herself; I also had other things that I also talked to her,
from him.			by him.
FALSTAFF. What are they? Let us know.			Falstaff. What are you? Let us know.
HOST. Ay, come; quick.			HOST. Yes, come; quickly.
SIMPLE. I may not conceal them, sir.			EASY. I can't hide it, sir.
FALSTAFF. Conceal them, or thou diest.			Falstaff. Vers the mountain or you.
SIMPLE.. Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress			Simple .. why, sir, they were nothing but about loved ones
Anne Page: to know if it were my master's fortune to			Anne Page: To know if it was my master's assets
have her or no.			Have you or no.
FALSTAFF. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.			Falstaff. It is his fortune.
SIMPLE. What sir?			EASY. I beg your pardon?
FALSTAFF. To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me			Falstaff. You have or no. Walk; Say the woman told me
so.			Also.
SIMPLE. May I be bold to say so, sir?			EASY. May I be brave to say it, sir?
FALSTAFF. Ay, sir, like who more bold?			Falstaff. Ay, sir, how more braver?
SIMPLE., I thank your worship; I shall make my master glad			Simply., Thank you for adoration; I'll make my master happy
with these tidings. Exit SIMPLE			With these messages. Simply end
HOST. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was			HOST. You are an employee, you art clerkly, Sir John. Was
there a wise woman with thee?			There a wise woman with you?
FALSTAFF. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath			Falstaff. Yes, that it, my host; One who has himself
taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life;			I taught me more wit than ever before, I learn in my life beforehand;
and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my			And I didn't pay anything for it either, but I was paid for mine
learning.			To learn.
Enter BARDOLPH			Enter bardolph
BARDOLPH. Out, alas, sir, cozenage, mere cozenage!			Bardolph. Out, unfortunately, sir, cozenage, mere kozenage!
HOST. Where be my horses? Speak well of them, varletto.			HOST. Where are my horses? Talk to them well, Varetto.
BARDOLPH. Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I			Bardolph. Run away with the Cozeners; For as soon as I do
came beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one of			Came beyond Eton, they threw me from behind from one of
them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like			them in a slave of swamp; and set the Spurs and away how
three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.			Three German devils, three doctor buses.
HOST. They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain; do not			HOST. They are gone, but to meet the duke to meet the villain; do not
say they be fled. Germans are honest men.			Say you will fled. Germans are honest men.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS			Enter Sir Hugh Evans
EVANS. Where is mine host?			Evans. Where is my host?
HOST. What is the matter, sir?			HOST. What's going on, sir?
EVANS. Have a care of your entertainments. There is a friend			Evans. Make sure you am entertainment. There is a friend
of mine come to town tells me there is three			come from me to the city, tell me that there are three
cozen-germans that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readins,			Cozen-Germans, who has all the Readins Cozen hosts,
of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you			from Maidenhead, from Colebook, of horses and money. I'll tell you
for			to the
good will, look you; you are wise, and full of gibes and			Good will, look; They are wise and full of gide and
vlouting-stogs, and 'tis not convenient you should be			Vlouting stogs, and it is not comfortable that you should be
cozened. Fare you well. Exit			together. Good luck for the future. Exit
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS			Enter Doctor Caius
CAIUS. Vere is mine host de Jarteer?			Caius. Is my host de Jarteer?
HOST. Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful			HOST. Here, master doctor, in confusion and doubtful
dilemma.			Dilemma.
CAIUS. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me dat you			Caius. I can't say that the VAT is dat; But it is told-I dat you
make grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany. By my			Make the big preparation for a Duke de Jamany. With me
trot, dere is no duke that the court is know to come; I			Trot, Dere is not a duke of which the court is known; I
tell you for good will. Adieu. Exit			Tell you for a good will. Adieu. Exit
HOST. Hue and cry, villain, go! Assist me, knight; I am			HOST. Color and crying, villain, go! Help me, knight; I am
undone. Fly, run, hue and cry, villain; I am undone.			reversed. Flies, races, races and crying, villain; I reversed.
Exeunt HOST and BARDOLPH			Host and Bardolph leave
FALSTAFF. I would all the world might be cozen'd, for I have			Falstaff. I might survive the whole world because I have it
been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the car			Was also Cozen'd and also beaten. If it should come to the car
of the court how I have been transformed, and how my			of the court, how I have transformed myself and how mine
transformation hath been wash'd and cudgell'd, they			The transformation was washed and Kudgells, you
would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor			I would melt out of my fat, fall from drop and alcohol
fishermen's boots with me; I warrant they would whip me			Fischer boots with me; I guarantee that you would whip me
with their fine wits till I were as crestfall'n as a dried			With her nice mind until I was as crested as a dried one
pear.			Pear.
I never prosper'd since I forswore myself at primero. Well,			I have never thrived because I ran at Primero. Spring,
if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers,			But if my wind were long enough to speak my prayers
would repent.			would regret.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY			Fast the mistress quickly
Now! whence come you?			Now! Where do you come from?
QUICKLY. From the two parties, forsooth.			QUICKLY. Of the two parties, ForSooth.
FALSTAFF. The devil take one party and his dam the other!			Falstaff. The devil takes one party and his mother!
And so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffer'd more			And so they are both awarded. I suffered more
for their sakes, more than the villainous inconstancy of			more than the malignant inconsistency of
man's disposition is able to bear.			The disposition of man is able to bear.
QUICKLY. And have not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant;			QUICKLY. And didn't you suffer? Yes, I guarantee;
speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten			Especially one of them; Mistress for Ford, good heart, is beaten
black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.			Black and blue that you cannot see a white spot over them.
FALSTAFF. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was			Falstaff. What do you say about black and blue? I was
beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and			hit me in all colors of the rainbow; and
was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford. But			Was to be arrested by Brainford as for the witch. but
that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the			that my admirable skill of the joke, my fake the
action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable			Action of an old woman, delivered me, the villain police officer
had set me i' th' stocks, i' th' common stocks, for a witch.			I sat for a witch.
QUICKLY. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you			QUICKLY. Sir, let me talk to you in your chamber. she
shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content.			I will hear how things are going and I justify their content.
Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado			Here is a letter. Good hearts, what an ado
here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not			Here you should bring you together! Sure, one of you not
serve heaven well, that you are so cross'd.			Serve the sky that you are so crossed.
FALSTAFF. Come up into my chamber. Exeunt			Falstaff. Komm in my Kammer. Exit
SCENE 6.			Scene 6.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter FENTON and HOST			Enter Fenton and Host
HOST. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy; I			HOST. Master Fenton, don't talk to me; My mind is difficult; I
will give over all.			is handed over.
FENTON. Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,			Fenton. But hear me speak. Help me in my purpose
And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give the			And how I am a gentleman, I'll give that
A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.			Hundred pounds gold more than their loss.
HOST. I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will, at the least,			HOST. I will hear you, Master Fenton; And at least I'll be, I will
keep your counsel.			Keep your advice.
FENTON. From time to time I have acquainted you			Fenton. From time to time I got to know her
With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;			With the dear love that I wear to the fair Anne page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection,			Who answered each other my affection
So far forth as herself might be her chooser,			As far as she could be your choice,
Even to my wish. I have a letter from her			Even to my wish. I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at;			Of such content as you will be surprised;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter			The joy whose matter was so sponsored with my matter
That neither, singly, can be manifested			That cannot be manifested either
Without the show of both. Fat Falstaff			Without the show of both. Fat falstaff
Hath a great scene. The image of the jest			Has a great scene. The picture of the joke
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host:			I will show you overall. Hark, good mine host:
To-night at Heme's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,			At night in Hemes Eiche, only Twixt Twelve and one,
Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen-			Does my sweet nan have to present the feet of the fairy?
The purpose why is here-in which disguise,			The purpose of why here is in the cladding,
While other jests are something rank on foot,			While other jokes are on foot, are
Her father hath commanded her to slip			Her father ordered her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton			With slim and with him in eton
Immediately to marry; she hath consented.			To marry immediately; She agreed.
Now, sir,			Now, sir,
Her mother, even strong against that match			Your mother, even strong against this match
And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed			And firmly for Doctor Caius, has appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away			That he should also go away
While other sports are tasking of their minds,			While other sports absorb their minds,
And at the dean'ry, where a priest attends,			And in the Dean'ry, where a priest participates,
Straight marry her. To this her mother's plot			Just marry them. To this conspiracy of her mother
She seemingly obedient likewise hath			It also seems to be obedient
Made promise to the doctor. Now thus it rests:			Promised the doctor. This is how it rests:
Her father means she shall be all in white;			Her father means that she should all be in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time			And in this habit when slim sees his time
To take her by the hand and bid her go,			Take them by the hand and go, go,
She shall go with him; her mother hath intended			She will go with him; Your mother intended
The better to denote her to the doctor-			The better to call them the doctor.
For they must all be mask'd and vizarded-			Because they all have to be masked and valued-
That quaint in green she shall be loose enrob'd,			This picturesque in green, which she is supposed to be loose, has registered to fill up,
With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head;			Violently and shallow over her head with ribands;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,			And if the doctor spies on his observation amount,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,			Pinch them by the hand and on this token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.			The maid has given the approval of going with him.
HOST. Which means she to deceive, father or mother?			HOST. What does they mean, they are deceptive, father or mother?
FENTON. Both, my good host, to go along with me.			Fenton. Both, my good host to go hand in with me.
And here it rests-that you'll procure the vicar			And here it rests that you will be procured the pastor
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,			To stay in the church for me, twixt twelve and one,
And in the lawful name of marrying,			And in the lawful name of the marriage,
To give our hearts united ceremony.			To give our heart association.
HOST. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar.			HOST. Well, husband her device; I become a pastor.
Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.			Bring you the maid, you shouldn't miss a priest.
FENTON. So shall I evermore be bound to thee;			Fenton. So I should always be bound to you;
Besides, I'll make a present recompense. Exeunt			I will also take a present reward. Exeunt
ACT V. SCENE 1.			Nude V. Sene 1.
The Garter Inn			The stocking band Inn
Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY			Enter Falstaff and loved one quickly
FALSTAFF. Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll, hold. This is			Falstaff. Prithee, no more pratting; walk. I'm waiting. That is
the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.			the third time; I hope good luck is in odd numbers.
Away, go; they say there is divinity in odd numbers, either			Gone, go; You say there are also divine in odd numbers
in nativity, chance, or death. Away.			In crib, chance or death. A way.
QUICKLY. I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I can to			QUICKLY. I will provide you with a chain and do what I can do to
get you a pair of horns.			Get a few horns.
FALSTAFF. Away, I say; time wears; hold up your head, and			Falstaff. Way, I say; Wears time; Hold your head up, and
mince. Exit MRS. QUICKLY			Hack meat. Leave a woman. QUICKLY
Enter FORD disguised			Give Ford disguised
How now, Master Brook. Master Brook, the matter will			Like now, Master Brook. Master Brook, the matter becomes
be known tonight or never. Be you in the Park about			be known tonight or never. Be around in the park
midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders.			Midnight, in Hersne's oak, and you will see wonders.
FORD. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me			FORD. I didn't go to her yesterday, as you told me
you had appointed?			Have you appointed?
FALSTAFF. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a			Falstaff. I went to her, Master Brook, as you can see, how a
poor old man; but I came from her, Master Brook, like a			Poor old man; But I came from her, Master Brook, like A
poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath			Poor old woman. The same villain Ford, her husband, has
the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that			The finest crazy devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that
ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you-he beat me grievously			ever raging. I'll tell you that he struck me hard
in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Master			in the form of a woman; Because in the form of man, master
Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because			Brook, I'm afraid, not Goliath with a Weaver beam; because
I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with			I also know that life is a shuttle. I'm in a hurry; participate
me; I'll. tell you all, Master Brook. Since I pluck'd geese,			me; Sick. Say everyone, Master Brook. Since I gave goose,
play'd truant, and whipp'd top, I knew not what 'twas to			played Truant and I didn't know what it was to do
be beaten till lately. Follow me. I'll tell you strange			have been beaten until recently. Follow me. I will tell you strange to you
things			Things
of this knave-Ford, on whom to-night I will be revenged,			From this villain for which I will be renovated tonight,
and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange			And I will put his wife into your hand. Consequences. Strange
things in hand, Master Brook! Follow. Exeunt			Things in hand, Master Brook! Consequences. Exeunt
SCENE 2.			Scene 2.
Windsor Park			Windsor Park
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER			Enter page, flat and slim
PAGE. Come, come; we'll couch i' th' Castle ditch till we			PAGE. Come come; We will be the castle ditch until we handle
see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my			See the light of our fairies. Remember, son slim, mine
daughter.			Daughter.
SLENDER. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have			SLIM. Ay, wrong; I spoke to her and we have
a nay-word how to know one another. I come to her in			A no word, as you know each other. I come to her in
white and cry 'mum'; she cries 'budget,' and by that we			white and cry 'mom'; She cries 'budget' and thereby we
know one another.			know each other.
SHALLOW. That's good too; but what needs either your mum			SHALLOW. This is good; But what does your mother need either
or her budget? The white will decipher her well enough.			Or your budget? The white will decipher it well enough.
It hath struck ten o'clock.			It hit ten o'clock.
PAGE. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well.			PAGE. The night is dark; Light and ghosts will be good.
Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the			Heaven thrives! Nobody means evil except that
devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away;			Teufel and we will know him from his horns. Let's leave out;
follow me. Exeunt			Follow me. Exit
SCENE 3.			Scene 3.
A street leading to the Park			A street to the park
Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and DOCTOR CAIUS			Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Doctor Caius
MRS. PAGE. Master Doctor, my daughter is in green; when			MRS. PAGE. Master Doctor, my daughter is green; if
you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to			You see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to her
the deanery, and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the			The dean and send it quickly. Go before in the
Park; we two must go together.			Park; We two have to go together.
CAIUS. I know vat I have to do; adieu.			Caius. I know that VAT has to do it; Adieu.
MRS. PAGE. Fare you well, sir. [Exit CAIUS] My husband			MRS. PAGE. Targe yourself well. [Output caius] my husband
will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff as he will			Will not be as happy about the abuse of Falstaff as he will do
chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter; but 'tis no			Chafe about the doctor that my daughter marries; but 'it no
matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of			Matter; Better a little tady than much of a lot
heartbreak.			Heart pain.
MRS. FORD. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies, and			MRS. FORD. Where is Nan now and her group of fairies and
the Welsh devil, Hugh?			The Welsh devil, Hugh?
MRS. PAGE. They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Heme's			MRS. PAGE. They are all hard built in a pit of Hemes
oak, with obscur'd lights; which, at the very instant of			Oak with dark lights; What at the moment of
Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the			Falstaff and our meeting you will point to them immediately
night.			Night.
MRS. FORD. That cannot choose but amaze him.			MRS. FORD. That cannot choose him, but surprise him.
MRS. PAGE. If he be not amaz'd, he will be mock'd; if he be			MRS. PAGE. If he is not Amazs, he will be ridiculed; If he is
amaz'd, he will every way be mock'd.			Amaz'd, it will be mocked in every way.
MRS. FORD. We'll betray him finely.			MRS. FORD. We'll tell him finely.
MRS. PAGE. Against such lewdsters and their lechery,			MRS. PAGE. Against such Lewdsters and her Lecherie,
Those that betray them do no treachery.			Those who betray them do not betray.
MRS. FORD. The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!			MRS. FORD. The hour dresses. To the oak, to the oak!
Exeunt			Exit
SCENE 4.			Scene 4.
Windsor Park			Windsor Park
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS like a satyr, with OTHERS as fairies			Enter Sir Hugh Evans like a satyr, with others as a fairy
EVANS. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts.			Evans. Trib, trib, fairy; Come; And remember your parts.
Be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I			Let's, I pray you; Follow me into the pit; And if I
give the watch-ords, do as I pid you. Come, come; trib,			If you give the clock confidence, do what I pick them. Come come; Trib
trib. Exeunt			Trib. Exit
SCENE 5.			Scene 5.
Another part of the Park			Another part of the park
Enter FALSTAFF disguised as HERNE			Enter Falstaff, who is disguised as Herne
FALSTAFF. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute			Falstaff. The Windsor bell hit twelve; the minute
draws on. Now the hot-blooded gods assist me!			emerges. Now the hot -flowered gods help me!
Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on			Remember, Jove, you have a bull for your Europe. Love operation
thy			yours
horns. O powerful love! that in some respects makes a			Horns. O Mighty love! In a way, this does a
beast a man; in some other a man a beast. You were also,			Beast a man; In another one man an animal. You were too
Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda. O omnipotent love!			Jupiter, a swan, out of Leda's love. O omnipotent love!
how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose! A			How close the God moved to the complexion of a goose! A
fault done first in the form of a beast-O Jove, a beastly			Error first in the form of a Biest-O-Jove, an animal
fault!-and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl-			Error! And then another mistake when appearing a poultry.
think on't, Jove, a foul fault! When gods have hot backs			Don't think about it, Jove, a bad guilt! When gods have hot back
what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor			What should poor men do? For me I am a windsor here
stag; and the fattest, I think, i' th' forest. Send me a cool			Deer; And the fatest, I think I 'the forest. Send me a cool
rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?			Rut-Time, Jove or who can blame me to piss my sebum?
Who comes here? my doe?			Who comes here? My doe?
Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE			Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page
MRS. FORD. Sir John! Art thou there, my deer, my male deer.			MRS. FORD. Sir John! Art you there, my deer, my male deer.
FALSTAFF. My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain			Falstaff. My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain
potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Greensleeves, hail			Potatoes; Let it thunder into the melody of Greensleeves, hail
kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest			Kissing and snoweringos; Let it come a storm
of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her]			I will protect myself here. [Hug]
MRS. FORD. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.			MRS. FORD. Mistress Page came with me, honey.
FALSTAFF. Divide me like a brib'd buck, each a haunch; I			Falstaff. Share me like a bribe, each Hühne; I
will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow			Will keep my pages for me, my shoulders for the guy
of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am			I bequeathed your husbands from this walk and my horns. Am
I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Heme the Hunter? Why,			I a Woodman, ha? Do I like the hunter in hem? Why,
now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution.			Now Cupid is a child of conscience; It makes refund.
As I am a true spirit, welcome! [A noise of horns]			When I am a true spirit, welcome! [A sound of horns]
MRS. PAGE. Alas, what noise?			MRS. PAGE. Unfortunately, what sound?
MRS. FORD. Heaven forgive our sins!			MRS. FORD. The sky forgives our sins!
FALSTAFF. What should this be?			Falstaff. What is that supposed to be?
MRS. FORD. } Away, away.			MRS. FORD. } Away away.
MRS. PAGE. } Away, away. [They run off]			MRS. PAGE. } Away away. [They run away]
FALSTAFF. I think the devil will not have me damn'd, lest the			Falstaff. I think the devil won't have damn me so that he doesn't
oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would never else			Oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he would never otherwise
cross me thus.			Cross me like that.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS like a satyr, ANNE PAGE as			Give Sir Hugh Evans like a satyr, Anne Page as
a fairy, and OTHERS as the Fairy Queen, fairies, and			A fairy and other than a fairy queen, fairies and fairies and
Hobgoblin; all with tapers			Leprechaun; All with rejuvenations
FAIRY QUEEN. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,			Fairy queen. Fairy, black, gray, green and white,
You moonshine revellers, and shades of night,			They moonlight celebrations and night tones,
You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,			They orphan heirs of the firm fate,
Attend your office and your quality.			Visit your office and quality.
Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.			CRIER HOBGOBLIN, MACH DAS FEEN -YES.
PUCK. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys.			PUCK. Elfen, list your names; Silence, you airy toys.
Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap;			Cricket to Windsor Chimneys you should jump;
Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths unswept,			Where fire that you do not find decorated and herds unbound,
There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry;			There the maids press as blue as Bilberry;
Our radiant Queen hates sluts and sluttery.			Our radiant queen hates sluts and slimming.
FALSTAFF. They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die.			Falstaff. You are fairies; Whoever speaks to them will die.
I'll wink and couch; no man their works must eye.			I will wink and couch; No man who must have an eye on her works.
[Lies down upon his face]			[Leaks on his face]
EVANS. Where's Pede? Go you, and where you find a maid			Evans. Where is Pete? Do you go and where you can find a girl
That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,			Before she sleeps, she said her prayers three times:
Raise up the organs of her fantasy			Increase the organs of your imagination
Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;			Sleep as well as careless childhood;
But those as sleep and think not on their sins,			But those who sleep and don't think about their sins think
Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.			Press them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides and shins.
FAIRY QUEEN. About, about;			Fairy queen. Over over;
Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out;			Search in Windsor Castle, elves inside and outside;
Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room,			Good luck, omphes, in every sacred space,
That it may stand till the perpetual doom			That it can be up to the eternal downfall
In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit,			In the state as healthy as in the state tis adjustments,
Worthy the owner and the owner it.			The owner and the owner worthy.
The several chairs of order look you scour			The various chairs of the order have a look through
With juice of balm and every precious flower;			With balm juice and every precious flower;
Each fair instalment, coat, and sev'ral crest,			Every fair rate, coat and sev'ral crest,
With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!			Always be blooming with loyal blazon!
And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,			And night, Wiese-Fairies, you look like,
Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring;			Like to the compass of the tights in a ring;
Th' expressure that it bears, green let it be,			The expression it carries, let it be green,
More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;			To see more fruitful fresh than the entire field;
And 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' write			And "Honi is who thinks badly", write
In em'rald tufts, flow'rs purple, blue and white;			In em'Rals tufts flow purple, blue and white;
Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,			Like Sapphire, Pearl and Rich embroidery,
Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee.			Buckled under the bending decnie of Fair Knighthood.
Fairies use flow'rs for their charactery.			Fairies use Flow'Rs for their character.
Away, disperse; but till 'tis one o'clock,			Path, disperse; But until one o'clock
Our dance of custom round about the oak			Our dance of the custom round around the oak
Of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.			By Herne, the hunter did not let us forget.
EVANS. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set;			Evans. Pray you, lure hand in hand; set in order;
And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,			And twenty fireforms should be our lanterns,
To guide our measure round about the tree.			To lead our measure around the tree.
But, stay. I smell a man of middle earth.			But stay. I smell a man of the Middle -earth.
FALSTAFF. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he			Falstaff. Heaven defend me in front of this Welsh fairy tale so that he does not
transform me to a piece of cheese!			Convert me into a piece of cheese!
PUCK. Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth.			PUCK. Vile Wurm, you were even in your birth.
FAIRY QUEEN. With trial-fire touch me his finger-end;			Fairy queen. His finger end touch me with test fire;
If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,			When he's chaste, the flame rises
And turn him to no pain; but if he start,			And so as not to make pain; But when he starts
It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.			It is the meat of a corrupt heart.
PUCK. A trial, come.			PUCK. A process, come.
EVANS. Come, will this wood take fire?			Evans. Come on, will this wood take fire?
[They put the tapers to his fingers, and he starts]			[They put the rejuvenions on his fingers and he starts]
FALSTAFF. Oh, oh, oh!			Falstaff. Oh oh oh!
FAIRY QUEEN. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!			Fairy queen. Corrupt, corrupt and spoiled in desire!
About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme;			About him, fairy; Sing a contemptuous rhyme;
And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.			And while they stumble, they are still pressing it in time.
THE SONG.			THE SONG.
Fie on sinful fantasy!			Fie about sinful imagination!
Fie on lust and luxury!			Fie about pleasure and luxury!
Lust is but a bloody fire,			Lust is just a bloody fire,
Kindled with unchaste desire,			Inflamed with indescribable desire,
Fed in heart, whose flames aspire,			Fed in the heart, whose flames strive for,
As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.			Since the thoughts blow them, higher and higher.
Pinch him, fairies, mutually;			Pinch him, fairy, mutually;
Pinch him for his villainy;			Pinch him for his villain;
Pinch him and burn him and turn him about,			Pinch him and burn him and turn it around
Till candles and star-light and moonshine be out.			Until candles and stars and moonlight are outside.
During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR			They pinch Falstaff during this song. DOCTOR
CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a fairy in			Caius comes in one direction and steals a fairy in
green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a fairy in			green; A different path and decreases a fairy
white; and FENTON steals away ANNE PAGE. A noise			White; And Fenton steals the Anne side away. A sound
of hunting is heard within. All the fairies run away.			The hunting can be heard on the inside. All fairies run away.
FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises			Falstaff pulls the head of his money and rises
Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and			Enter page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and
SIR HUGH EVANS			Sir Hugh Evans
PAGE. Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now.			PAGE. No, don't fly; I think we've seen you now.
Will none but Heme the Hunter serve your turn?			Will nobody serve apart from the hunter in their series?
MRS. PAGE. I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.			MRS. PAGE. I pray you, come, don't keep the joke higher.
Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?			Well, good Sir John, how like you Windsor Wives?
See you these, husband? Do not these fair yokes			See you this, husband? Do not do this fair yoke
Become the forest better than the town?			The forest gets better than the city?
FORD. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook,			FORD. Well, sir, who is a rooster now? Master Brook,
Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns,			Falstaff is a villain, a tap; Here are his horns
Master Brook; and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of			Master Brook; And Master Brook, he didn't enjoy anything
Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds			But Ford is his buck-basket, its cudgel and twenty pounds
of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses			of money that must be paid to Master Brook; His horses
are arrested for it, Master Brook.			are arrested for this, Master Brook.
MRS. FORD. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never			MRS. FORD. Sir John, we were lucky; We could never
meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will			To meet. I will never take you again for my love; but I will
always count you my deer.			Always count my deer.
FALSTAFF. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.			Falstaff. I start to recognize that I am made a ass.
FORD. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are extant.			FORD. Ay and also an ox; Both evidence is available.
FALSTAFF. And these are not fairies? I was three or four			Falstaff. And these are not fairies? I was three or four years old
times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet the			Times in thought they were not fairies; And yet that
guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers,			Guilt of my mind, the sudden surprise of my forces,
drove the grossness of the foppery into a receiv'd belief,			drove the gross of the fopery into a received faith
in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they			In despite the teeth of all rhyme and reason that they
were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent			were fairies. Now see how joke a jack a lent can be made
when 'tis upon ill employment.			if it is a sick employment.
EVANS. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires,			Evans. Sir John Falstaff, get serve and leave your wishes,
and fairies will not pinse you.			And you will not find fairy.
FORD. Well said, fairy Hugh.			FORD. Well said, Fairy Hugh.
EVANS. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.			Evans. And let your jealousy, I pray you.
FORD. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able			FORD. I will never distrust my wife again until you are able
to woo her in good English.			to advertise them in good English.
FALSTAFF. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that			Falstaff. I put my brain in the sun and dried it, that, that
it wants matter to prevent so gross, o'er-reaching as this?			It wants matter that matter is as disgusting as this is?
Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? Shall I have a cox-comb			Did I also drive with a Welsh goat? Should I have a Cox comb?
of frieze? 'Tis time I were chok'd with a piece of			From frieze? It was the time that I was spoiled with a piece of one piece
toasted cheese.			roasted cheese.
EVANS. Seese is not good to give putter; your belly is all			Evans. Seese is not good to give putters; Your belly is everything
putter.			Putter.
FALSTAFF. 'Seese' and 'putter'! Have I liv'd to stand at the			Falstaff. 'Sesee' and 'Putter'! Did I live to stand on?
taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough			Mocking of one that donates of English power? That's enough
to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm.			The decay of lust and late through the empire.
MRS. PAGE. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would			MRS. PAGE. Why, Sir John, do you believe even though we would do it?
have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and			Let virtue from our hearts push on the head and out of your head and
shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell,			Shoulders and gave us in hell without scruples,
that ever the devil could have made you our delight?			The devil could ever have made you our joy?
FORD. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?			FORD. What, a Hodge pudding? A bag of flax?
MRS. PAGE. A puff'd man?			MRS. PAGE. A peeled man?
PAGE. Old, cold, wither'd, and of intolerable entrails?			PAGE. Old, cold, withered and by unbearable intestines?
FORD. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?			FORD. And one that is as slandered like Satan?
PAGE. And as poor as Job?			PAGE. And as poor as job?
FORD. And as wicked as his wife?			FORD. And as bad as his wife?
EVANS. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack,			Evans. And given on Abitur and taucerne and sack,
and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings,			and wine and methods and drink and swear,
and starings, pribbles and prabbles?			And let up, pribbles and Probbles?
FALSTAFF. Well, I am your theme; you have the start of me;			Falstaff. Well, I am your topic; You have the beginning of me;
I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel;			I am down; I can't answer the Welsh flanel;
ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me; use me as you will.			Ignorance itself is a decline from me; Use me as you want.
FORD. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Master			FORD. Marriage, Sir, we bring you to a master to Windsor
Brook, that you have cozen'd of money, to whom you			Brook that you have money from money you have
should have been a pander. Over and above that you have			should have been a pander. In addition, they have
suffer'd, I think to repay that money will be a biting			I think I think the money will be a bitter
affliction.			Ailments.
PAGE. Yet be cheerful, knight; thou shalt eat a posset			PAGE. But happy, knight; You should eat a poses
tonight at my house, where I will desire thee to laugh at my			Tonight in my house, where I wish you to laugh at mine
wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her Master Slender hath			Woman, that laughs at you now. Tell your master slim
married her daughter.			married her daughter.
MRS. PAGE. [Aside] Doctors doubt that; if Anne Page be			MRS. PAGE. [Apart from] doctors doubt that; When Anne side is
my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.			My daughter, she is the woman of Doctor Caius.
Enter SLENDER			Give slim
SLENDER. Whoa, ho, ho, father Page!			SLIM. Whoa, Ho, Ho, Father side!
PAGE. Son, how now! how now, son! Have you dispatch'd'?			PAGE. Son like now! Like now, son! Did you send '?
SLENDER. Dispatch'd! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire			SLIM. Shipment! I will do the best in Gloucestershire
know on't; would I were hang'd, la, else!			Do not know; Otherwise I would hang!
PAGE. Of what, son?			PAGE. From what, son?
SLENDER. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne			SLIM. I came there in Eton to marry beloved Anne
Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i'			Page, and she is a great Lubberly boy. If it hadn't been '' '
th' church, I would have swing'd him, or he should have			I would have swung it the church or he would have
swing'd me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page,			Swing me. If I didn't think it had been an Anne page
would I might never stir!-and 'tis a postmaster's boy.			I might never stir!-And it is the boy of a postmaster?
PAGE. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.			PAGE. In my life they then took the wrong.
SLENDER. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I			SLIM. What do you need that to me? I think if I
took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all			took a boy for a girl. When I was married to him for everyone
he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him.			He was in the woman's clothing that I wouldn't have had him.
PAGE. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how			PAGE. This is your own folly. I didn't tell you how
you should know my daughter by her garments?			Should you know my daughter through your clothing?
SLENDER. I went to her in white and cried 'mum' and she			SLIM. I went to her in white and called 'Mama' and she
cried 'budget' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was			called 'budget', as Anne and I had appointed; And yet it was
not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.			Not Anne, but the boy of a postmaster.
MRS. PAGE. Good George, be not angry. I knew of your			MRS. PAGE. Good George, don't be angry. I knew from you
purpose; turn'd my daughter into green; and, indeed, she			Purpose; converted my daughter in green; And indeed, you
is now with the Doctor at the dean'ry, and there married.			Is now married to the doctor in Dean'ry and there.
Enter CAIUS			Enter Caius
CAIUS. Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened; I ha'			Caius. Vere is Mistress Page? I am mixed by even; I have '
married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is			Married and Garcon, a boy; Un Paysan, from Gar, a boy; it is
not Anne Page; by gar, I am cozened.			not anne side; From even, I'm mixed.
MRS. PAGE. Why, did you take her in green?			MRS. PAGE. Why did you take them in green?
CAIUS. Ay, be gar, and 'tis a boy; be gar, I'll raise all			Caius. Yes, be cooked and a boy; Be at all, I'll lift everything
Windsor. Exit CAIUS			Windsor. Leave Caius
FORD. This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?			FORD. That is strange. Who has the right Anne?
PAGE. My heart misgives me; here comes Master Fenton.			PAGE. My heart falls to me; This is where Meister Fenton comes.
Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE			Enter Fenton and Anne Page
How now, Master Fenton!			Like now, Master Fenton!
ANNE. Pardon, good father. Good my mother, pardon.			Anne. Sorry, good father. Well, my mother, forgiveness.
PAGE. Now, Mistress, how chance you went not with Master			PAGE. Well, mistress, how accidentally you didn't go with the master
Slender?			Slim?
MRS. PAGE. Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?			MRS. PAGE. Why didn't she go with Master Doctor, Maid?
FENTON. You do amaze her. Hear the truth of it.			Fenton. They surprise them. Listen to the truth.
You would have married her most shamefully,			They had married them most shameful,
Where there was no proportion held in love.			Where there is no share in love.
The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,			The truth is that she and me, have long since contractually raised,
Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.			Are so safe now that nothing can dissolve us.
Th' offence is holy that she hath committed;			This crime is sacred that it committed;
And this deceit loses the name of craft,			And this is losing the name of the craft,
Of disobedience, or unduteous title,			Of disobedient or the inappropriate title,
Since therein she doth evitate and shun			Since they have an impact and avoid there
A thousand irreligious cursed hours,			A thousand irrelevant hours cursed hours,
Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.			The forced marriage would have applied.
FORD. Stand not amaz'd; here is no remedy.			FORD. Don't stand amazed; There is no means here.
In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state;			In love, the sky itself leads the state;
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.			Money buys land and women are sold by fate.
FALSTAFF. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand			Falstaff. I'm happy even though you have a special stand
to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanc'd.			To beat me that your arrow has a look.
PAGE. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy!			PAGE. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven, give yourself joy!
What cannot be eschew'd must be embrac'd.			What cannot be avoided has to be hugged.
FALSTAFF. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chas'd.			Falstaff. When night dogs run, all types of deer are pursued.
MRS. PAGE. Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton,			MRS. PAGE. Well, I won't think any further. Master Fenton,
Heaven give you many, many merry days!			The sky gives you many, many happy days!
Good husband, let us every one go home,			Good husband, let's go home,
And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire;			And laugh this sport over a country fire;
Sir John and all.			Sir John and everything.
FORD. Let it be so. Sir John,			FORD. Let it be. Sir John,
To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word;			To master Brook, you should hold your word;
For he, to-night, shall lie with Mistress Ford. Exeunt			Because he will be Ford with Mistress tonight. Exeunt
THE END			THE END